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Girls who like Boys who like Boys – Ethnography of ... - Yuuyami.com

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increasingly aware <strong>of</strong> my connection to others, and in a way <strong>of</strong> their<br />

cooperation throughout the process <strong>of</strong> writing this text. The question that<br />

came to mind occasionally was, indeed, to what extent I deserved the authorial<br />

position I held. Perhaps this is one <strong>of</strong> the fears and insecurities that led to<br />

classical Anthropology’s dread <strong>of</strong> “be<strong>com</strong>ing native.” But to an even greater<br />

extent, I would argue, this unease sprang from the notion that holding such an<br />

authorial position would inevitably equate the silencing <strong>of</strong> those I wrote about.<br />

Hills’ words <strong>of</strong> warning regarding the precarious situation <strong>of</strong> fan-scholars and<br />

scholar-fans and the attention they should pay to both <strong>of</strong> the contexts in which<br />

they operate sprang to mind. After having witnessed multiple discussions in<br />

fandom about banalities, as well as deep meta-discussions about theoretical<br />

approaches to slash, and always having been aware <strong>of</strong> the highly interactive<br />

qualities <strong>of</strong> the Internet (even to those lurking passively), taking on an<br />

authorial position was precarious: the medium <strong>of</strong> this text is paper, and,<br />

together with the conventions <strong>of</strong> academic writing, does not lend itself easily<br />

to interactivity. Though not actively silencing the voices <strong>of</strong> those I worked<br />

with, I had been the only one to hear them <strong>com</strong>ment on the drafts <strong>of</strong> this<br />

manuscript, and was, to a degree, obligated to lend them voices on this<br />

medium. Not doing so would have, essentially, denied both the medium and<br />

the <strong>com</strong>munities <strong>of</strong> online fandom.<br />

Attempting to develop some ideas to incorporate such interactivity if<br />

possible, I had been nearly on the verge <strong>of</strong> giving up, thinking that my<br />

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