diced b Jos e S. Arc a, - non

fellow passengets.2 On 1 November he described the pastoral activity of thebishop:The bishop preached with great conviction and fervor after the gospel,comparing human life to a ship. We, all of us passengers on this boat, we arepassengers in this life. We must not be distracted and lose sight of the end forwhich God created us. We must not be held back by things along the way, butthink of the end of our voyage. He compared the Church to a ship. He spokesimply, clearly, with feeling, and from the heart. Those of us who beard him feltmoved.*Volonteri hit the mark when he preached on the last things in thatatmosphere conducive to prayer and meditation amidst that immense oceanwhere swaying in a cockleshell, man experiences his nothingness. Thebishop's words must have moved Rizal more than his companions. For a longtime now, he had been conscious of death. In his correspondence withBlumentritt he kept repeating: "If I died, you will remain; but life in Europeis impossible for me. Better to die than live miserably."'" And "... I prefer togive my life for the sake of my people to enjoying a life of ease here. If I die,you remain and you will not abandon the Filipinos."31One of the priests traveling with Rizal was a natural scientist, and the twospent a night "discussing astronomy." Rizal, however, described forBlumentritt the Catholic missionaries:The Franciscans (Italians) and the Jesuits (French) respect me. They do not knowwhat I have done. I do not want to disabuse them, for I would not want to disturbthese good and simple young men going with great zeal to China. They are poor,pious, in no way haughty. What a difference! Only one of them who has beentwice to China is a little rough, a kind of Fray Damaso. But he is good, frank, andlaughs with an open mouth when I tell a brief joke. We enjoyed playing chesstogether. From Tyrol, he is called Fuchs. I call him Fr. Fox when he makes a badmove. A good man, a Fray Damaso without pride or malice.32There is much to reflect on here. Rizal showed he was in doubt he haddone well. He wrote novels, fiction in which what was said could not be takenas the tnith. He was aware he had generalized and universalized a few realfaults. He knew that reading his novels could disturb the simple and the good.And he kept silent before his missionary co-passengers, not to disturb them,not to lose their respect. There was a depth of goodness in Rizal whoserefinement was merely hidden. This cover-up would be understood only inthe heat of political fights where all the protagonists lost their equanimity andcould not foresee the proximate or remote consequences of their words andactions.6