Theft by Finding - David Sedaris

main haul was stones, which are his new thing. In his suitcase were two twenty-five-pounders, one
that he says resembles a human head and another that looks like a fish.
While there he saw an eagle swoop down and snatch a beaver off the banks of a pond. I loved the
wonder in his voice when he related this story. My father has a terrific voice.
October 3, 1986
Chicago
A woman on All Things Considered did a seven-minute story on the idea of home that involved a
number of different people. Mr. Rogers talked about the house he grew up in. He said that the
bedrooms were upstairs and described the furniture and the hallways. It was layout information. Then
came an old woman who talked about her father. She said that he was a kind man and that he had been
beaten to death while working as a scab at a bakery. The woman received the news and remembered
thinking, If anyone has to die, why not my mother?
In those days, she said, dead bodies were put on ice and displayed in the family’s home. Her
father’s casket had a leak. “I remember the ice melting and dripping and forming a puddle on the
floor, and I will remember it until I die,” she said. “I’ll remember seeing it and thinking, Here is my
father. He is on ice in the living room.”
I found some Xeroxed papers from Adult Children of Alcoholics that included the following
Checklist for Hidden Anger:
Procrastination in the completion of imposed tasks
Perpetual or habitual lateness
A liking for sadistic or ironic humor
Sarcasm, cynicism, or flippancy in conversation
Frequent sighing
Overpoliteness, constant cheerfulness, an attitude of “Grin and bear it”
Smiling while hurting
Frequent disturbing dreams
Overcontrolled monotone speaking
Difficulty in getting to sleep or sleeping through the night
Boredom, apathy
Slowing down of movements
Excessive irritability over trifles
Getting drowsy at inappropriate times
Sleeping more than usual, twelve to fourteen hours a day
Waking up tired rather than refreshed
Clenched jaws while sleeping
Facial tics
Grinding of teeth