Theft by Finding - David Sedaris

you could just move the bed into the kitchen.” “Shit, you got a fire escape. Sit out there, why don’t
you!” “Shit, get yourself some plywood and a couple of cinder blocks and you can fix that right up.”
The apartment I looked at has a sign on the door reading WARNING, THE PERSON LIVING HERE HAS A
GUN AND WILL USE IT.
I told Mr. H. I’m still looking at places, and he shook my hand, saying, “So long, Bo.”
There are three vacancies in the Vance Apartments, also on Edenton Street. I noticed the empty
windows and called the Realtor for an appointment. Only weird gay people, old ladies, and drunks
live at the Vance. It’s scandalous, and the one-bedrooms go for $220 a month. That means that with
bills, etc., I’ll have to put aside $60 a week, which is almost $10 a day.
August 3, 1983
Raleigh
It’s taking me a while to adjust to the new apartment. I’m on a corner, so there’s traffic noise and
more pedestrians than I’m used to. Last night I was sanding one of the sculptures for my SECCA
show. It was dark outside, and two black men yelled something up to me. I didn’t want to get into
anything, so I pretended I couldn’t hear them. Five minutes later there was someone at my door. I
opened it, and it was the two guys who had yelled. They thought I was painting the apartment and
asked if it was for rent.
The two looked to be in their late thirties. I told them that the apartment was mine but that there
were other vacancies. One of the men started to ask if he could look at my place. What stopped him,
most likely, was how suspicious it sounded, but I said, “Sure, come on in.” I was happy to have
visitors, and after a tour I wrote down the name of the realty company, wondering as I did so whether
or not they allowed blacks. They can’t say they don’t, of course, but in the short time I’ve been here I
haven’t noticed any black people coming or going. They’re really not free to live where they want in
this town.
August 13, 1983
Raleigh
This afternoon a woman knocked on my door and asked if there were any rooms to rent. She was
missing her front teeth and had a duffel bag over her shoulder. I’m not sure why she chose my door to
knock on. Why climb up to the second floor? Why not ask one of the people forever hanging out on the
front stoop?
August 26, 1983
Emerald Isle
Paul and I went out swimming yesterday. The current was strong, and I realized after a few minutes