Theft by Finding - David Sedaris

mind you.
“We don’t even know each other,” I argued. “Besides, I’m here with a friend visiting from out of
town.”
“No problem,” he said. “I’ll do everything to him that I plan to do to you.”
He wouldn’t unblock the door until I promised to take it up with John, who was standing out front
waiting for me and who said, “What took you so long?” when I finally found him.
February 11, 1991
New York
I took part in three Orchid Shows at P.S. 122. They were all sold out, and the audiences were kind
and responsive. On Friday Andy from One Life to Live was in the audience. She plays Max Holden’s
sister and gave me her autograph, which read, To David. You were wonderful. Please write for our
show.
I can’t believe it!
A number of bookers for clubs were there, and the head of P.S. 122 invited me back. Then there
were guys, most of whom were dandelions. That’s my name for men with short hair dyed yellow.
They almost always have two pierced ears and wear leather jackets. The uniform makes them
unappealing to me. That’s what’s good about Hugh. He’s his own person, lookswise.
After last night’s event I came home and found $350 worth of traveler’s checks I’d never cashed. I
was paid $100 per night for the shows, so if I budget, I can pay rent and last at least a short while
longer.
February 24, 1991
New York
Today the United States began its ground war in Kuwait. Saddam Hussein said the American
troops would drown in their own blood, but they met no opposition and took five thousand prisoners.
It’s strange to see the war from New York. I’ve noticed a surprising number of yellow ribbons and
posters of American flags with the words THESE COLORS DON’T RUN printed beneath them. Then too
you hear “No blood for oil” a lot.
March 3, 1991
New York
I have to get these sculptures off to the Renaissance Society, and I asked Hugh over to take a look
and advise me on finishes. He is very handsome, a hard worker, thoughtful. His dad was a diplomat
so the family left Kentucky when Hugh was a kid and lived in Ethiopia and Somalia and the Congo.
He lived in Paris for five years after graduating from college and is here now, painting.
Hugh looked at the sculptures and said, “Just oil them.”