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through the dialogue that ensued because this introduction is
getting ridiculous but my mom was really confused as to why
the babysitter had basically given me cat food for lunch, I was
confused as to what horrible things my babysitter had done to
make the tuna so disgusting and unappealing, and the babysitter
probably thought that my mom and I were pulling some
bizarre, psychological prank on her. It was a disaster. I don't
think my mom ever hired her again, but years later we got to
the bottom of what had happened when I randomly helped
my mom make tuna salad one time.
The point is, I liked tuna salad a certain way, but I had
absolutely no idea what kind of preparation was required to
reach the outcome that I enjoyed. I couldn't see the individual
ingredients and hadn't actually put much thought into how it
was prepared, so I just sort of assumed that the tuna I liked
was the norm, the baseline, the unadulterated way that it
came. You could dress it up more if you wanted but I didn't
like dressing it up. I liked it "plain."
I think most guys think about about girls putting time into
their appearance the same way my five-year-old self thought
about the preparation of tuna fish salad. It's something that
we, frankly, don't put much thought into and when we do, our
understanding of what needs to be done to achieve the outcomes
that we are most fond of is so profoundly lacking that
it is basically useless for us to give our opinions on the level of
preparation that we prefer.
But if you're still reading, this is the actual answer I wrote
in response to this question before remembering the tuna fish
incident. enjoy.
Most guys don't spend much time thinking about a girl's
clothes or makeup. If something about your appearance
makes us think about either of those things, you're probably
doing something wrong.
Scenario 1: If I see a girl and think, "She must put a lot of
time into her appearance," it's probably because she's trying
way too hard to pull off an outfit that just doesn't work and/or
she caked on way too much makeup in an unskilled manner.
Scenario 2: I see a girl and think, "Yikes, that girl should've
put a little more effort in this morning." She might look okay;
she might even look pretty good, all things considered, but if
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