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dating and relationships
How do I convince my girlfriend
(possibly future wife) that a
diamond engagement ring is a
waste of money?
Dave Cheng, Happily married as of 8/2010.
Culture is not static. Desires are fleeting.
I realize you love this woman and place her desires above
the wants, perhaps even needs, of others, but valuing pretty
little stones above human death and suffering is just plain
selfish. I'm sure there were people in the 1800s who thought,
"This whole slavery thing is kind of screwed up, but, well, everyone
else is doing it, life would be a lot tougher without it,
and gee golly what would all the neighbors say if we were the
only silly geese on the block who didn't own slaves? Guess we
might as well."
People used to think the world was flat. Blatant racism,
segregation, eugenics, voodoo, leeching, and a thousand other
ignorant and harmful practices all used to be the norm. Don't
be one of the sheep. If she asked you to jump off a bridge to
prove your love because that's what all her friends' husbands
did, would you?
Here is how I suggest trying to convince her:
First, in an objective, non-argumentative way (e.g., something
along the lines of "Honey, I did a little research while
shopping for an engagement ring and came across some horrible,
disturbing statistics"), give her the facts:
• Conflict, aka "blood", diamonds have directly caused the
deaths of millions;
• Indirectly, such diamonds have i) caused the death and
suffering of hundreds of millions, ii) contributed to worldwide
poverty and inequality, and iii) furthered political
and economic instability in parts of the world that are already
desperately poor and desperately unstable;
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