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it out, your career will be limited because the very tools you
develop to survive have other social consequences[3].
You Generally Feel Alone
Because the environment is so rough and generally hostile, the
women who can navigate it are a very small, select group[4].
It's rare to encounter another woman and even rarer to encounter
another technical woman.
overall, it's awesome to encounter other women because
while you grow accustomed to quirks of a room full of men
(the jostling, the chest beating, the pissing contests, the egos,
etc.), it does get old. When another woman is thrown into
that mix, you get to avoid the old script and reevaluate the
dynamic so it's more interesting. However, you and everyone
else is accustomed to women in the facilitator manager role,
not in the making technical decisions role. Typically your collaborative
and directional contributions almost always fare
better than your technical contributions. If you pay attention
to those social cues, you may start to subtly pull yourself out of
the rough and tumble technical decision making and retreat
into the facilitation role. If you ignore the social cues, you
have to assert yourself aggressively into the technical conversation[5]
and take some lumps. If you choose that aggressive
path, you will be even more alone because those likely less
technical women in the room with you don't have the expertise
to back you up.
act ii - fortunate reality
You Have Access to Opportunities (You Are NOT Actually
Alone)
even the aforementioned nerd trash talk is actually a useful
tool that can help you. The reason that culture exists is to
make everyone in the group better. The fact that you are getting
hit in the face means that someone is either wrong, and
you can hit back with a correct answer or that you are wrong
and someone is letting you know that directly. Sticking that
out means you are learning in an accelerated environment
with instant correction.
Furthermore, if you stick around long enough, you can
find people who aren't completely insecure and are confident
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