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• Opt out of the Mommy wars. Although the parenting
community should by definition be one of mutual respect,
love, support, and caring, many times, it can turn vicious
and ugly. Judgements are flung from all sides. You'll feel
like everything you do is wrong to one side or another.
opt out. Surround yourself with friends and family who
support you. Discuss parenting differences with an open
mind and a loving intent. Avoid people and conversations
who strive to compare, to criticize, and to prove They Are
Right, other Ideas Are Wrong.
• Take care of yourself. Make sure you don't lose yourself to
this new role. It's easy to let things like time for yourself,
a shower (alone, without baby!), or a nap every now and
then slide. But the more rundown you let yourself get, the
tougher mothering will seem. Don't be too hard on yourself.
You're learning, and so is baby.
• Don't be afraid to keep learning and evolving your parenting
style. Just don't do it because militant this-or-thaters
say you should/must. Do it because it feels right and
natural for you, your partner, and your child.
• Make the most of this time. Cherish and love your child.
Ask yourself, when you're trying to make a decision, what
will you want to have chosen five years from now? Will
you be more glad you decided to do this, or that? What
feels right? For example, we decided that we did not want
to try any sort of cry-it-out method for our children. And
four years after my first baby, I am very glad we didn't. For
us, it was right not to.
• Write letters to your child. Daily, weekly, monthly, whatever.
Write about how you feel about him/her right this
moment. What things does he do that you love? What
things do you think about while you're holding her? You
lose these thoughts as time passes, and it's so beautiful to
read over what you wrote, and to have that for your child.
• Enjoy this. Seriously, enjoy it. Although it will be hard
work, and some days, it may seem daunting, thankless,
and tiresome, remind yourself of the beauty of it. Take a
time-out to just hold your baby and cuddle. In a year, you'll
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