Untitled - Electric Scotland

1 863-68] CONSULTED IN DIFFICULTIES 521
the former. . . .
alternative, I was not then prepared to re-accept
I began to question with myself how and to what extent the
Prayer Book, which my friends and I desired (as a matter of
taste) to alter as little as possible, must be dealt with. I soon
found that either the Prayer Book must be wholly re-written, or
we must retain the doctrine of the Trinity, prayers to Christ,
references to miracles, and a belief in the Atonement. I had no
doubt* which way the Bible, if appealed to, would decide these
questions ; but the miracles recorded in Scripture bore to my
mind a character of a priori incredibility, which prevented (or
disabled) me from referring my difficulties to the arbitrament of
the sacred penmen. I was thus still in my scepticism of a year
ago ;
only the option had become more distinctly marked, so that I
must either confirm my disbelief or accept the teachings of ortho
doxy. At this crisis an old recollection of the late Dr. Chalmers
unbelief, and of its being relieved by his studies preparatory to
writing on the Evidences, induced me to read his volume.
The first few pages just brought back to my mind the missing
link. ... It seems strange to my own mind that so simple a
reflection should avail with me now after several years of growing
scepticism ; but we all read books differently according to the
different states of mind in which we approach them. As has been
said, we find in books what we bring to them. Be that as it may,
however, this volume of Chalmers has, under God s blessing,
been the means of removing my a priori difficulty as to miracles.
That removed, I am open to the overwhelming influence of St.
Paul s unquestionably contemporaneous evidence. Christ s won
drous personality speaks to me through the Gospels. The pre
diction of a seed of Abraham, in whom all the nations should be
blest, convinces me. The Gospels become wholly credible. I
assent alike to the Miraculous Conception, the Resurrection, the
Ascension, and all the other marvels of the Gospel. Difficulties
there are, and I feel them ; but I am satisfied with the substantial
truth of the inspired volume. ... In a word, I have regained
my belief in the Bible ; I retain my old attachment for the Church
of England and the Prayer Book. . . .
"As to the question, what I am to do with my
life and
energies, will your Lordship kindly take the trouble to counsel
me ? Shall I best serve God and man by remaining in idleness ?
or by working at some lay occupation ? or by seeking to resume
the functions of a curate in the Church ? If, as seems to me,