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The first time he fired a missile, he killed two men instantly and cried<br />

on his way home.<br />

'I felt disconnected from humanity for almost a week,' he said.<br />

But it was an incident when a Predator drone was circling above a<br />

flat-ro<strong>of</strong>ed house made <strong>of</strong> mud in Afghanistan, more than 6,250 miles<br />

away, that really sticks in his mind.<br />

The hut had a shed used to hold goats and when he received <strong>the</strong> order<br />

to fire, he pressed a button with his left hand and marked <strong>the</strong> ro<strong>of</strong> with a<br />

laser.<br />

The pilot sitting next to him pressed <strong>the</strong> trigger on a joystick, causing<br />

<strong>the</strong> drone to launch a Hellfire missile. There were 16 seconds left until<br />

impact.<br />

'These moments are like in slow motion,' he told <strong>the</strong> website.<br />

As <strong>the</strong> countdown reached seven seconds, <strong>the</strong>re was no sign <strong>of</strong><br />

anyone on <strong>the</strong> ground.<br />

Bryant could still have diverted <strong>the</strong> missile at that point.<br />

But when it was down to three seconds, a child suddenly walked<br />

around <strong>the</strong> corner.<br />

The next thing he saw was a flash on <strong>the</strong> screen - <strong>the</strong> explosion. The<br />

building collapsed, and <strong>the</strong> child disappeared.<br />

Bryant had a sick feeling in his stomach, he told <strong>the</strong> website.<br />

'Did we just kill a kid?' he asked <strong>the</strong> pilot next to him.<br />

'Yeah, I guess that was a kid,' <strong>the</strong> man replied.<br />

Thoughts jotted in his diary on uneventful days clearly show <strong>the</strong><br />

heavy burden his job was placing on him.<br />

'On <strong>the</strong> battlefield <strong>the</strong>re are no sides, just bloodshed. Total war. Every<br />

horror witnessed. I wish my eyes would rot,' he wrote on one occasion.<br />

He began to shut himself <strong>of</strong>f from his friends, and his girlfriend<br />

complained about his bad moods.<br />

'I can't just switch and go back to normal life,' he said to her. He<br />

stopped sleeping and began to exercise instead.<br />

One day he collapsed at work, doubling over and spitting blood. The<br />

doctor ordered him to stay home, and not to return to work until he could<br />

sleep more than four hours a night for two weeks in a row.

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