WATERING THE NEIGHBOUR'S GARDEN: THE GROWING - CICRED

IS SON PREFERENCE EMERGING AMONG THE NAYARS OF KERALA …?
Most respondents spoke disapprovingly of dowry (reflecting
connotations of its illegality), and were divided in reports of the extent
to which it was demanded by the groom’s side or pressure exerted on
the bride’s family to pay. While fixing a match for a daughter, parents
would seek a groom of comparable socioeconomic status to keep
dowry issues in check. If pressures rose, they would not proceed with
the match. On the other hand, the groom’s family would also
investigate the bride’s family’s ability to pay, and if not satisfied, would
drop the alliance. Dowry assets typically pass to the control of in-laws,
and in some cases to the conjugal pair. That is, it is almost never seen
as women’s individual property, but is treated as a family asset.
When discussing payments relating to their own or their children’s
marriages, many participants said they did not ask or pay “dowry”, but
voluntarily gave “gifts” to the bride instead. The distinction between
“dowry” and “gift”, however, was blurred in practice. A middle-aged
man, employed in clerical work, said “Dowry has an important role in
our community [...] even if it is not demanded we should give
something to our daughters. Nobody calls it ‘dowry’.” These gifts
represent a very widespread practice as, according to a retired police
officer, who had a daughter, a son, and grandchildren; “no marriage
can take place without gold” (a saying echoed by several participants).
A 71-year-old woman of the middle socioeconomic group said she
didn’t know when Nayars started asking for dowry:
“But dowry is now very common. People may not ask directly
but they say the groom’s brother got so much gold
and cash etc. My neighbour got fifty sovereigns of gold
[about $ 18,000] and Rs. 50,000 in cash [about $ 1100] [...]
we should give some gold to our daughter according to
our financial status [...] Inheritance share is separate from
dowry.”
She did not ask dowry for her sons nor gave any to her daughters,
“only gold”. As her example indicates, the amount and value of gold
given at marriage represents a substantial transfer of wealth even for
families who gave nothing else. Evidence indicated that dowry was
paid in addition to inheritance. The majority of participants stated that
women would get an equal share of their family property as
inheritance, in addition to dowry. While Eapen and Kodoth (2003)
placed a positive interpretation on the fact of dowry not exhausting
women’s inheritance claims, our study suggests that the practice may
increase the ‘expensiveness’ of daughters.
Husbands establish familial socioeconomic identity, and wives
function as auxiliaries. This was underscored by the mixed views on
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