WATERING THE NEIGHBOUR'S GARDEN: THE GROWING - CICRED

310
T.V. SEKHER - N. HATTI
“Girls are given less food than boys. Even rich families do
this. Then why blame the poor?”
“If we stop dowry, then I am sure, sex-selective abortion
will disappear”.
“A son is essential because he will continue the family
name. When the parents die, he will do all the kriyas (rituals
in the Hindu family)”
“A son is called a putra, who liberates his father from hell.
A son-less father won’t get moksha (Salvation) after
death”.
“Some daughters may be interested in taking care of their
parents, but their husbands have to allow them”.
“Husband and mother-in-law try to avoid a girl child. They
will try to find out the sex of the baby.”
“Some women are scared of husband and in-laws, and they
agree to scanning and abortion.”
“For my daughter-in-law, we did a scan to find out the sex
of the baby. After taking 1000 Rupees, they did not reveal
the sex of the baby. After that, we went to another doctor
and terminated that foetus.”
Another old woman explained the necessity of having a son. In
her own words, “maga manege; magalu pararige” (a son is for our family
and a daughter is for another family). When asked about whether they
depend on their sons for protection during old age, most men and
women said ‘yes’. Some of them strongly felt the necessity to have at
least two sons. Krishne Gowda, quoting a local saying, substantiated
his argument “ondu kannu kannalla ; obba maga maganalla’’ (one eye is not
enough to see, one son is not enough for the family).
It is clearly evident that dowry rates have gone up considerably in
all the communities. The girl’s family is forced to meet a series of
payments for the marriage, beginning with the engagement and
concluding with the bride actually going to reside in the groom’s house.
In many communities, dowry practice was totally absent about thirty
years ago. Now it has become an essential feature of the marriage. The
dowry payment includes cash, gold, silver and expensive consumer
items like a TV and refrigerator, and in many cases a vehicle, preferably
a car or motorbike. A portion of the land and property is also
transferred from the girl’s family to the boy’s family. Apart from all this,
it is a well-established norm among all communities that all expenditu-