stripping the gurus - Brahma Kumaris Info

236 STRIPPING THE GURUS
tate me. Just looking at my watch can give rise to feelings of
annoyance (Lama, 1999).
In any case, other lamas from the Dalai’s own country of birth
have evidently not “missed out” on sex to the same degree, as one
Western female teacher and devotee of Tibetan Buddhism noted, in
attempting to sort through her own feelings on the subject:
How could this old lama, a realized master of the supreme
Vajrayana practices of Maha Mudra, choose a thirteen- or
fourteen-year-old nun from the monastery to become his sexual
consort every year? What did the lama’s wife think?....
I talked to a number of Western women who had slept
with their lamas. Some liked it—they felt special. Some felt
used and it turned them away from practice. Some said they
mothered the lama. But no one described it as a teaching;
there was nothing tantric about it. The sex was for the lama,
not them (in Kornfield, 2000).
Of course, there are two sides to every issue. Thus, Tenzin Palmo,
who herself spent years in Tibet as the only (celibate) woman
among hundreds of male monastics, after having earlier laughed
off Chögyam Trungpa’s “wandering hands” in England, noted:
Some women are very flattered at being “the consort,” in
which case they should take the consequences. And some
women only know how to relate to men in this way. I sometimes
feel we women have to get away from this victim mentality....
A true guru, even if he felt that having a tantric relationship
might be beneficial for that disciple, would make the
request with the understanding that it would not damage
their relationship if she refused. No woman should ever have
to agree on the grounds of his authority or a sense of her
obedience. The understanding should be “if she wished to,
good; if not, also good,” offering her a choice and a sense of
respect. Then that is not exploitation (in Mackenzie, 1999).
Still, much as one might agree with the need to “get away
from this victim mentality,” when a “great spiritual being” or an
“infallible god” asks you to do something, you are entitled to feel
flattered, to even enjoy it ... and still, to not be able to say, “No.”
After all, it is not possible to separate one’s “sense of obedience”