The-Conquest-of-Happiness-by-Bertrand-Russell

Chapter 12: Affection
One of the chief causes of lack of zest is the feeling
that one is unloved, whereas conversely the feeling
of being loved promotes zest more than anything
else does. A man may have the feeling of being
unloved for a variety of reasons. He may consider
himself such a dreadful person that no one could
possibly love him; he may in childhood have had
to accustom himself to receiving less love than fell
to the share of other children; or he may in fact be
a person whom nobody loves. But in this latter
event the cause probably lies in a lack of selfconfidence
due to early misfortune. The man who
feels himself unloved may take various attitudes as
a result. He may make desperate efforts to win
affection, probably by means of exceptional acts of
kindness. In this, however, he is very likely to be
unsuccessful, since the motive of the kindnesses is
easily perceived by their beneficiaries, and human
nature is so constructed that it gives affection most
readily to those who seem least to demand it. The
man, therefore, who endeavours to purchase