The-Conquest-of-Happiness-by-Bertrand-Russell

their children, and become therefore even less able
to be of use to them than if they permitted
themselves spontaneous mistakes, for nothing
causes so much worry in a child’s mind as lack of
certainty and self-confidence on the part of an
adult. Better than being careful, therefore, is to be
pure in heart. The parent who genuinely desires the
child’s welfare more than his or her power over
the child will not need textbooks on psychoanalysis
to say what should and what should not be
done, but will be guided aright by impulse. And in
that case the relation of parent and child will be
harmonious from first to last, causing no rebellion
in the child and no feeling of frustration in the
parent. But this demands on the part of the parent
from the first a respect for the personality of the
child - a respect which must be not merely a matter
of principle, whether moral or intellectual, but
something deeply felt with almost mystical
conviction to such a degree that possessiveness
and oppression become utterly impossible. It is of
course not only towards children that an attitude of
this sort is desirable: it is very necessary in