The-Conquest-of-Happiness-by-Bertrand-Russell

may seem unimportant, but in times of failure it
affords a consolation and a security not to be found
elsewhere.
In all human relations it is fairly easy to secure
happiness for one party, but much more difficult to
secure it for both. The gaoler* may enjoy guarding
the prisoner; the employer may enjoy brow-beating
the employee; the ruler may enjoy governing his
subjects with a firm hand; and the old-fashioned
father no doubt enjoyed instilling virtue into his
son by means of the rod. These, however, are onesided
pleasures; to the other party in the
transaction the situation is less agreeable. We have
come to feel, that there is something unsatisfactory
about these one-sided delights: we believe that a
good human relation should be satisfying to both
parties. This applies more particularly to the
relations of parents and children, with the result
that parents obtain far less pleasure from children
than they did formerly, while children reciprocally
suffer less at the hands of their parents than they
did in bygone generations. I do not think there is