Understanding and Challenging Stigma toward ... - Pact Cambodia

Coping with
Stigma
MSM who disclose to their families are often those who are financially
independent. Those who still depend on their parents financially may decide to
tell their parents at a later date.
Sometimes the family response might be positive, but it also be highly
negative. Some parents kick their MSM sons out of the house, fearing the
shame and loss of status.
So making the decision to tell your family – who, how, when and where to
tell – is a personal decision and a big step. You decide when you are ready and
who you want to talk to. No one should force you to disclose before you are
ready.
Practicing telling someone can be a useful way to develop personal strategies
for disclosure.
Don’t rush. Take it slowly and give your parents time to absorb the new
information. Don’t expect them to love you in the same way without any change.
It takes time for them to understand. It took you time to understand yourself.
If you give them enough time to understand, they will defend you and become
your supporters.
Parents have high expectations and goals for their children and when you
arrive with this “bomb,” it can shatter all their dreams. So take it slowly!
Your parents are also concerned about what others are saying, how it will
affect the family’s reputation. Parents feel partly responsible for how their
children are raised. If they discover you are MSM, they may think that
this reflects on how they raised you. They may fear they will be blamed for
producing an MSM son.
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