Understanding and Challenging Stigma toward ... - Pact Cambodia

Information
Sheets
6. Don’t make his sexual orientation or gender identity the sole focus of the discussion. While it is
important to acknowledge his identity, it is not necessary to let this topic dominate your
discussion. It is important to remember that the man has not changed. You may be
shocked by his revelation, but remember that this is still the same person as before.
7. Be honest and open. It is okay to admit that you do not know everything. It is also okay
to admit feeling uncomfortable with this subject. Be honest, but emphasize your support
for him. Your own discomfort with the subject may come across as discomfort with him.
If he wants more detailed information, suggest that he talks to someone who knows
more about this subject.
Here are some “do’s” and “don’ts” to help you support the person who has come to see you:
Do:
Don't:
Listen to what has happened in his life.
Help him set individual goals, even if these differ drastically from your own.
Develop trust and openness by allowing him to choose his own life.
Defend him against discrimination.
Respect his right to find out how to find the right type of relationships.
Say, "I care about you and I support you. Thank you for trusting me enough to
tell me this.”
Rush the process of trying to understand his sexual orientation or gender
identity.
Assume that he should see a professional counselor.
Criticize him for being different.
Try to force him to conform to your ideas of proper sexual behavior.
Demand that he live up to your idea of what a “real man” should be.
Reject or stigmatize the person.
Insist that your morality is the only right one.
283