Understanding and Challenging Stigma toward ... - Pact Cambodia

Annex A:3
Becoming Open: Stages in
the Process
Identifying oneself as gay or MSM and disclosing this to other people is often referred to
as “becoming open.” This process can take place at any time in a person’s life. Coming
to terms with one’s identity can affect a person's social relationships, job, school work
and self-esteem.
Telling someone about one’s identity can be difficult. In making this disclosure gay men
or MSM are often fearful of negative reactions or rejection. Sometimes a person may
prepare himself to disclose to parents by first becoming open to supportive friends.
The “becoming open” process involves a series of stages:
Awareness: In this stage, a man begins to feel “different” from other men, but isn’t sure
why. He recognizes that he is attracted to other men or that he is not really interested
in the gender roles prescribed for men. He feels unusual when he compares himself to
other men. This usually happens in his teenage years.
“I felt as if I had nothing in common with the other boys in my class. I didn’t even have
anything to talk about. I don't like sports, but I like dancing.” Anchaly, 18
Being confused about one’s identity may be prompted by:
Changing views about oneself
Feeling sexual attraction to other men
Sensing the stigma toward men who have sex with men
Lacking knowledge about homosexuality
Feeling trapped in the wrong body
Some people who think they are MSM will try to deny it to themselves and get help to
deal with these feelings. Others will try and avoid thoughts and feelings that remind
them of what makes them different. They may avoid getting any information about
homosexuality to avoid confirming their suspicions about their sexual orientation or
gender identity.
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