Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

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Promethium‐mur Journal 50 15/00:00 MIND 4 It’s like I had this sensation of this prime evil part of me, the lower half of my being, on one hand sensation of lower limbs wanting to run bolt or get away, this hyper alert urge to bolt at the same time prime evil way of being anchored in at bottom of the ocean primitive algae, anchor way down past ocean floor center earth undulate back and forth primal feeling slow inspiration expiration, really just being both of those, felt like lower half of self base chakra family level safety tribe on reacted nervous system vigilance and under ocean feeling of such a deep grounding moves me to evoke it in my body, has a similarity of feeling I have with boyfriend feeling really anchored, grounded, held, settled less rooted than that, less connected, there is sensation this it’s the same result have this feeling of fullness completeness and stability, there’s no grasping or gripping into the earth, yet feel very stabilized in a way, stabilization is in myself, like religious feeling Jesus .. coming down from comes down, a cosmic meaning of life feel, feels like in me or I’m a part of it in a way, very substantial not particularly grounded in a particular way grounded ungrounded dichotomy that’s relevant to feeling of that. 15/00:00 MIND 4 Sensation of what bottom of ocean feels like pull tidal a rocking feeling back and forth a rocking feeling, a unity somehow feels very complete…. like I’m really feeling like I’m one with all the atoms in whole world part of whole world in here or you… a permeability maybe boundaries aren’t so clear so it not disturbing I know I’m me and not the pillow like we are all one god talk.. don't know know what more to say about it. 15/00:00 MIND 4 A complete lack of fear or apprehension or instability 15/00:00 MIND 4 Interesting to me in a place of... objectively even more so my life is of even greater transition, upheaval, school…. all this temporary or back and forth bag a bonding that I’m forced into, started before proving but daughter moved in, don’t have space to call my own now, she in even less so, yet I don’t feel imbalance at all, just this real calm, this calm steady sensation of being in myself, being able to transpierce each moment of each day not getting upset, not judging, not freaking out, a real inner tranquility, not trying, calm. 15/00:00 MIND 4 Also think thanks to relationship could be unknown could be living in this very differently, also several people remind me great things about my son, usually worry about him, comforting people remember experience him in a positive way, more of a calmness there too. 15/00:00 MIND 4 More that I don’t feel either, when look at people energetically people exercise as if that is essential grounded come more from inner wisdom authenticity, I feel very balanced authentic there no downward feeling wanting go down ground not floating more spherical layers a rounded body aura not everything hunky dory I’m fine with it not distressed and if it is I’m fine with that maybe there’s no witness no more than judge no part of me evaluating watching myself I just am I feel absolutely no need to ground and center not there go there no apprehension anxiety fear hesitancy there’s not lack of confidence in what might happen there’s something off just perplexing something a little different not pushing myself rushing myself no urgency no pressure I’m ok with myself no expectation, not disturbing my a undisturbed-ness that comes from a deep tranquility. 15/00:00 MIND 4 Yesterday was told boyfriend planning a conversation with ex wife soon, she requested not share with me what talk about, but how he’s doing with it is important to relationship, pissed not asked for me to able to say how I’m feeling I’m mad about not change I’ll be pissed not consequence not part of a game that’s just the reality of part of how I’m feeling it just is I feel really tranquil with that its really subtle deep accepting of myself and of others I’m not agitated… not some way a physicality stronger more evident energetically nothing other than that comes to mind. 21/09:42 MIND 4 time crawled as I watched the alarm, waiting for it to ring. Not the usual pleasure of dozing, just in limbo-land. But now I feel this panic at what needs to be done before I get to work. And I'm still in dulled, dulled limboland. 21/16:00 MIND 4 Opossum energy came up yesterday in a bodywork session I was giving. I sensed the opossum energy as something she needed, her symptoms were calling for, so I "channeled" opossum to her for a few minutes. Never done that before. 22/00:00 MIND 4 I don’t get it, don’t feel the pressure, so much kind of whatever, feel like to be back home with friend have to talk to her nice to be alone here, feel back in myself, feels like it’s done, I’m just me and I’m just, I feel settled in myself. 22/00:00 MIND 4 Actually explore other sensations, experience being in myself, and in my home, also something similar feel bad, can’t express it more feel bad, my physical energetic expression with other objects feels perplexingly different, very calm, very steady, not the same connected to heaven and earth, grounded, …something different more round spherical, more spacious, more horizontal but still round… so that you feel your sensors, feel around you the back of you, not jus this normal frontal we have…
Promethium‐mur Journal 51 22/00:00 MIND 4 The feeling of being done, if I ask myself about that more the struggle, the efforting, the striving is done I can just breath. 22/00:00 MIND 4 It just feels like there’s some connection, so when something opossum comes up, strikes me as something different, like it’s becoming my totem animal, interesting popping up again, in these blatant ways…what are the chances of a stuffed animal opossum… in a body work session… sense in her caught not knowing which way to turn I channeled it for her, felt appropriate… that’s unusual… 22/00:00 MIND 4 My experience of that was as if it was the most normal calming thing to do and didn’t seem weird or off beat, it was very simple, uncomplicated… 22/00:00 MIND 4 I also worked on doing a follow up of a 6 year old front teeth wiggly shark tooth cranial sacral wiggly knew effect something tune in what do…. email both feel out in the night it delights me, that experience just trust more and not everything has to be complicated and as I say that a sudden rush of tears behind my eyes, what a relief that would be if I could just relax and not everything so complicated, huge relief can feel in whole upper chest breaths sighing relief breaths…… as I look around my house can feel that same kind of relieved sigh that I can finally come home again… 22/00:00 MIND 4 That’s a big yearning for stillness in my sphere, like in the wizard of ounce if I need to go somewhere my whole house should just lift up and fly over there, ever since I was a teen wanted to have a Volkswagen van, live in it, drive it around, got a book how to repair, last week with boyfriend we talked about having it, all my books in there take it around, have what I need other than that never thought what I’ve had how I need, funny this stillness being in my home and imagining being able to take it where I need to without having to pack it and un pack it. 22/00:00 MIND 4 Hearing the thunder go out and close car window… most magical just sit… 22/00:00 MIND 4 Honestly maybe a symptom feeling like it’s done… paying attention to a part of me that feels like I’m back in myself all of me from all the different moments of my life like I’m not driven by all things exterior to me, driven by the things exterior to me….I think that’s it can’t think of anything right now…. 22/00:00 MIND 4 The opossum, I heard a protein protects them from all viruses, I’ll email and put it in the report. Email: “Hold that possum close. Possums produce a protein LTNF which may be a universal antidote to venoms(snake, plant, insect). Initial research is from 10 years ago in Australia... don't know why it is in the news at the moment. Items have appeared on Boing Boing, Yahoo news and CBC Radio probably just citing the previous two sources cause that is what they do due to budget cuts. several other items appear on Google” 22/18:35 MIND 4 Misplaced my car keys twice today. 22/18:35 MIND 4 Less than 30 minutes after talking with supervisor and referring to wanting to just stay in my house, being lifted with the whole house just like in The Wizard of Oz if I need to go somewhere, a big storm breaks here, very dark skies, powerful winds, hail, as if the house could be lifted up by the power of the storm. I find it very invigorating, exciting. I run around checking windows, closing where needed but also opening those not facing into the winds; then being sure enough curtains are open that I can watch. I am grinning from ear to ear, yay! a storm! 22/18:35 MIND 4 Boyfriend happened upon some news info about opossums carrying a protein that protects from all viruses. They put the protein in a rat and he didn't get any viruses. Sent on to supervisor to put in report. It is fun having opossum become something of a fetish animal for me. why is he showing up here? 24/08:00 MIND 4 Woke early, laying around, time passing extremely slowly; had a similar experience a few days ago. I lay there, waiting, not dozing, but feeling the exaggeratedly slow progression of time. 26/20:00 MIND 4 Hesitating to broach the subject of money and what she owes me with my roommate. I want to help her out as she is low on money but also wanting to be more firm as I am low on money, too! Apprehension about asking for what I need, what is due me. 29/18:00 MIND 4 Went shopping, chose less things, was more sparing, more thoughtful and reserved about what I chose. Just bought what was "enough" - no extras. 30/00:00 MIND 4 Intermediaries are shaman figures they are messengers and gatekeepers to other realities and ways of seeing/being. 30/12:00 MIND 4 Co-facilitating a retreat, have done these for several years, don't think I have ever been as present and available. Usually I keep blinders on, scurry off to my room for a few moments alone to prep the next session…. I was more interested in the individual women, recognizing their value to me and our sisterhood. 31/14:00 MIND 4 Have been more efficient, more on time, things ready ahead of time. less need to put things off, slow things down.
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Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

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