Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

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Promethium‐mur Journal 56 06/19:03 MIND 7 Like opium, you are there and are not, dull to pain you know you will endure, numb to go with them, when not in congruence, not in line with what you believe, your spark, to bend to what they need you to be, you loose some part of yourself, you leave because you can't be wholly there. You are not whole. The spark, to preserve itself, it has to go. Because you are about to do something you don't want to do. Against what you want to do. You do not believe in what they are going to make you do, it takes you over, it is not in congruence with who you are. 06/19:04 MIND 7 It is forced. You are screwed. You are not whole. It rubs = not congruent, it is against. Congruence is two straight lines, this friction, not in accordance with who you want to be, what you want to do. That's the defeat, if you are the odd man out. People don't agree with. 06/19:05 MIND 7 That being pegged, for an idea, or how you are born… you are different. They see that and take over, like the holocaust, like that… it's not like "I like Harry Potter and you don't" there is more force or energy. It's group force. Holocaust is this taking over. It's brute force and the taking over. The dark energy, it comes and takes you over. 06/19:06 MIND 7 They are light, they are people (Jews) a soldier knocking down the door, that's like the death and taking over. They are scared, they are terrified. They need to be saved, they need Superman. Something big needs to come to save them, not just one family, it's all of them. There is more than one family. A big intervention. Coming over the earth, and Superman is over it protecting, and these people are the earth. They are the innocent bystander. The group force is going to come and wipe them out, it's death, dark shadow. 06/19:07 MIND 7 To bend to what they want you to be = this image, your life is in peril, this brute force is coming, one method is to say "I'll just go with it" you have to cave, you have to give in, and go along with them, this part of you that still believes in what you believed in before is still there. 06/19:08 MIND 7 Your truth, it's you. It's who you are, it's what you do, it's what you believe. It's like during the crusades, it's who you are, what you were born into world with, the Christians say convert or die, and you bend, you convert, that part of you, that passion that belief and truism, it is deeper then faking. That spark that was you before has to move aside. That's who you are, in order to preserve yourself, your youness can't be in same body. 06/19:09 MIND 7 Like breathing. It IS. It is all you've known. It's life. It's your spark, it's your light. When people make you cave, it's a little death. 06/19:10 MIND 7 Your life can't be there, your individualness can't be there anymore. You become one of them. You become one of the masses. That decomposition, like dead and rotten. 06/19:11 MIND 7 Huge intervention. It take a lot to penetrate the dark. It's like after sun has been eclipsed, and it seems so much brighter than before… this burning, this flame, it's so bright. 06/19:12 MIND 7 Super compressed, super bright, blinding. Awe. Like awesome, like powerful, but good powerful. It's the opposite of brute. "aaaah" (she sings) like the angles, I suppose. It's like good and pure. The intention, everything is good. Not flawed (opposite of not able to wash it off) it's perfect, it's whole, it's warm, and selfless. Like the SUN! it's light it's life! It's like that Superman, it's good and selflessness, it's helping, it's pure. 06/19:13 MIND 7 Angles are good and pure. It transcends human-ness in a way. This light, it's not quite human, not quite from here, but it's good. It has extra-human qualities, like Superman is extra-human - some strength, completely selfless, they would give completely, to their detriment. I think Superman does die. They could die. Still they give, they go that far, they do it, for the betterment of the whole. 06/19:17 MIND 7 Against my will, not in congruence. In order to preserve my physical body, it was forced, brute force. That's when you separate, when you can't assimilate. Your survival, fight or flight kick in. 06/19:18 MIND 7 That information is so far against what you would normally do, you can't quite make it fit. It doesn’t quite mix, you can't fully accept it. You switch off. You have to do what you have to do to get thru it. 06/19:19 MIND 7 Spiritual part of you has to leave in order to do it. It couldn't cope with that. A separation between your youness and your body. The spiritual part is your essence, your spark. It's the wessen. That's the part that has to leave. 06/19:20 MIND 7 I don't trust myself. What planet is she on. To know. It is. It's a definite. You are kind of naïve to anything else. I believe the sky is blue, it would take a lot of convincing me to believe in something else. 06/19:21 MIND 7 I wanted to leave, to run away to leave. It's free, it's light it air, it's so much better. It's light. It's bright. It's happy. Go away and leave me alone. Leave me alone. I want them to go away. I need them to go away. I need to defend and protect. You still have the energy and the light, it's not done, you still have a chance. To ward it off. To get it to go away.
Promethium‐mur Journal 57 10/09:10 MIND 7 Something is blocking it. I don't access it, or it only wants to come up when wants to come up. In little cement wall. It's contained in one little area. It doesn’t want to be seen. Or I don't want to access it 10/09:11 MIND 7 A cement compound, it's stuck in there and can't get out. Might be against it's will. Like a prison or something. Of the concentration camp - contained in this one area. It feels not good, it feels dark. Remedy is contained - on it's own choice. It is willingly there - It doesn't want to be seen 10/09:12 MIND 7 It doesn't want to be seen - protecting, defensive mechanism, if it's seen it's exposed. It's not safe for it maybe. It feel like it knows it is this dark energy in a certain way - it knows that I don't want it to come out fully. I'm really not that great. 10/09:13 MIND 7 not that great? That capacity to be death, dark and compost stuff, within it's spectrum, some awareness of possibility of light - but operating in dark. It's bad, it's dark, it's certain evil, a little uckiness. 10/09:14 MIND 7 possibility? It's capable, it's within it's realm, it can chose. Am I going to be icky repulsive or okay. Within it's potential, within it's scope, in the spectrum of its nature. It could be, it has potential. That teeter totter - you have possibility of both. Which one will it teeter to. If I go dark it is permanent, possibility is the light, this third entity - the middle, this tipping point this fulcrum. The possibility to tip on either side. It is the consistent thing, it's constantly there - the light and dark are these forces, what happens, I don't know? 10/09:15 MIND 7 potential = the catalyst. The thing that decided. It's the event that happens that makes it tip one way or the other. Something shifts, something happens, one way or the other. 10/09:16 MIND 7 catalyst = the thing that sets things into motion. The match that lights the wick on stick of dynamite. The thing that makes explosion happen, that changes things. Saw a nuclear bomb. There is dark and light to nuclear bomb, explosion itself is fire and light. It creates a spark a (pchoo!) it gives off some light. 01/19:15 MIND 9 I didn't want to start the remedy - that's why I didn't answer your email - I was avoiding… 01/19:55 MIND 9 I'm worried about my plants - if it doesn't rain tonight - I should water them. I'd better put my garbage out. 02/00:00 MIND 9 Son not answering his phone or text, I am more willing to pester him to get an answer-calling multiple times and texting him repeatedly irritated with him, I want to chew him out 02/00:00 MIND 9 irritated with boyfriend, he has a cat and dog and determine what he does, like not being able to go up north this weekend, thinking something is wrong with him. 03/10:31 MIND 9 Yesterday - I haven't said anything to my boyfriend but - he has these animals - a cat and a dog - and I invited him to my cabin this weekend and he's not coming because there is no one to come in and care for the animals. He has been divorced for a couple of years now and I think he's kind of a homebody - he's a retired executive and I don't think he's traveled much and I'm a little irritated that these animals are determining what happens so I'm thinking there's maybe something WRONG with him and I have not actually thought that before - I'm just living my life and I know part of the trouble in his marriage - he retired and became uninterested in going out to functions and I'm wondering if there's a problem that he doesn't want to go out. So I said yesterday - why don't you pick some times you would like to go up to the cabin. He doesn't think his ex-wife would come to check on the animals so he can be away with ME! I really LIKE this guy - I really DO. His kids are from his first wife that died and when he divorced his second wife she kind of burned her bridges with the kids. But the feeling - "is there something wrong" - that thought came to me yesterday. 06/04:10 MIND 9 The irritation with my boyfriend is resolved - his ex-wife called to ask him for a favor so he took the opportunity to ask that in return she come over and care for his animals next weekend so she said yes and so we will go up to the cabin next weekend. 15/08:15 MIND 9 Yes!!! Having to answer these questions!! (She laughs). It's funny because I think of my son as being irritable - last night he drove up to the cabin with me to drop off some furniture and he had his irritable moments - but mostly it was good. He was googling political things on his iPad. 20/08:15 MIND 9 Here's another thing! Throughout this proving my son was very irritated with me - he won't call me. He does that to his dad but he doesn't do that to ME! I THINK he is upset about me dating but he wouldn’t admit it - but this has kind of died out this week. My feeling/sensation was kind of frustrated and irritated at him because he won't say what's bugging him - he just goes out of communication. 20/08:18 MIND 9 Not really any irritability 20/08:20 MIND 9 Talk with "new" boyfriend every day - it is good (she is on a working retreat at her cabin). 20/08:21 MIND 9 All good with daughter - she is in school - to get certified for teaching high school or junior high science.
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