Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

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Promethium‐mur Journal 8 00/00:00 MIND 4 Pre-proving impression as driving to class: listening to local public radio, moved to tears at being a part of this community I know, and also moved at the realization of how many people here I don't know. Also feeling very connected to the land, and to the lake. Feeling the energy of land/lake mixing with me. We are all ONE. I also got an email from a client this week recommending a movie called THRIVE about environmental concerns and the like. 05/8:00 DREAMS 4 Two significant dreams I can't remember. Woke up very sad, heavy with grief. 07/06:30 DREAMS 4 Something about answers, having to have the answers. A long, skinny list: answers, answers, answers! 07/06:30 DREAMS 4 In Paris, going to an antique flea market I've been to before. New stuff being set up in the back room, I'll come back later when they are ready to open. I do, they are still not really ready, but let me in anyway. Need to find a special gift for my boyfriend. It's all really expensive and nothing is catching my eye. Then it's time to get back, but I don't know this part of town, don't have a subway map. Try to ask others for directions but I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be going, so how can they help me.I think I'm more in the North of town, but not too far North, not at the edges of town, nearer the center, the older, more established part of town: subway stops I rarely use, so I'm not familiar with the lines. There, a station is in sight, there will be a map, I'll be able to figure out where I am, where I need to go. walking towards it, a young girl is ahead of me. We see the oldfashioned subway cars climbing a hill, it's an aboveground line. The hills turn into something we can slide down, a little scary but real fun and, I see, built to be safe. Almost like an amusement park with a preestablished route you take, so things are timed for you to be able to achieve the passage from one thing to another. 10/09:30 DREAMS 4 Awakening feeling the ephemeral quality of life, of my life, of relationship, of my own potential inconstancy. 11/07:30 DREAMS 4 Our teacher from school is going to take a month-long trip to Italy, on the cheap. I am very moved to imagine such a dedicated professional taking a month off to wander, alone, in her favorite country. She is stopped at the border by a policeman who makes this odd gesture of stretching out his hand, palm up facing her, then rolling the arm, and another duplicate arm just above the first, as if rolling up in yoga, one vertebrae at a time, with a final flip of the hands and once again outstretched in a "stop" position. He reminds her how she wreaked havoc in his country last time she entered, and that she must contain herself this time if she is to be allowed to stay. I feel a deep yearning at the idea of being able to travel so unencumbered, at the gentle mercy of each whim of the moment, free to follow them. I can see her joyously walking down empty streets, letting her attention be caught and then following whatever impulse she chooses. 12/15:16 DREAMS 4 I am able to wander, no restrictions, no obligations, no plan. There is this deep relief. 21/11:40 DREAMS 4 Roommate left a DVD by Angelina Jolie about Bosnia, very dark in terms of submission, women being humiliated, violated, powerless to defend themselves. Men delighting in shooting other men, the enemy. Dreamt about guns but can't remember more. Who is the enemy. Can any one be really human in a war situation. Who can you trust? 24/08:00 DREAMS 4 Dreaming that my boyfriend turns out to be quite resistant to the idea of getting married. He has been avoiding being more honest with me about this. He wants the relationship, but not the form of marriage. I feel a little death, there is a sorrow, a feeling of being deceived, let down, left adrift, disengagement (literally!). 01/02:00 DREAMS 7 Her dog had diarrhea, but we didn't know, he was downstairs, aloe, farting and all of sudden diarrhea everywhere. She was calling to dog. Like a fire hydrant out of his ass. Shit everywhere. What the hell is happening? Poor dog. Gross eew. Feces was army green color, no smell. Just filth and gross quality. Diseased. Couldn't wash it off, felt like that. 01/02:00 DREAMS 7 Me but wasn't me, and some guy shit on her. Having sex and then covered with feces. Green colored feces. She was trying to wash it off and it was so much and she couldn't wash it off. He said "You deserve that!" He was a player guy, thinks he's so great. He was treating her like pieces of trash. Of course I shit on you, you deserve it. So gross, so dirty, so low about self. 06/02:00 DREAMS 7 (About her dream) I was crying. I didn't want to do it. But I had to do it, I was told. There were bad people in the house. It was unclear…why they were bad, I was coerced by the bad people. You have to cave, to preserve myself. I'm supposed to set fire to the house. A big house, people on second floor, you have to do this, they are in the house now, they will assume it was one of those guys, you have to do it! "No!" I say, "there are people in there, they are going to die!", she said "they may get out" That's bad, I didn't want to kill anyone.
Promethium‐mur Journal 9 06/02:01 DREAMS 7 I dreamt that someone was going to come into the house and harm us. I'm not sure if it was kill kind of harm, but harm. Then my dream jumped to something else---I had to go with a friend and set someone's house on fire. We had to burn it down in order to protect some other people. I remember crying- I really didn't want to do it, and also, we had to start it while there were some people in it to make it look like an accident. I was crying because I didn't want anyone to get hurt, but I knew that they would. 02/00:00 DREAMS 9 Lots of dreaming in the night! An on-going dream. I was living in a commune type environment and with something going to happen where it would be the end of the world. It was not frightening - it was all very logical - we drew names of the people who would move to another island. So we were preparing to leave - we had a large tank - some large protective vehicle - maybe a bulldozer - and a car to move around in. So it was time to go and I was trying to go through all the drawers to see what we needed because whatever we took was all we had. Someone decided we needed sponges so not being able to go to the store we decided to take all the sponges we could find, not leaving any for the people left behind. Then I had cleaned out drawers and there were people sitting around waiting to leave and they wouldn't help put the stuff I had collected into bags so I got mad and eventually one woman - someone in real life - helped. We were driving to the coast to a boat I assumed and saying good-bye to the people we lived with was not very panicked or hectic. My feeling was "let's get going - hurry up!" I was worried that the others would try to go with even though there was not enough room but those left behind were - "chipper" is the word that comes to mind - happy. Worried that the others would try to go with, even though not enough room but those left behind were chipper, happy. Dream was calm and calculated not panic like you would expect in an end of the world dream. Woke up tired. Then I woke up. My feeling then - TIRED!!! The thing about the dream is that it was all very calm and calculated - there was no panic - no rushing around. I had more dreams but I can't remember them - I need to have some notepaper ready in the night to write them down. 05/00:00 DREAMS 9 Dream: (real life, black wasp nest under deck at cabin, took my dad and son out too show them; decided not to spray since wasps going in and out, joked with dad to get out of the way since he couldn't run fast) that night dreamt about the wasp nest. All the black wasps were dead and hanging out of the opening to the nest. Glad no one stung, they were dead. (In real life, didn't spray them so the nest is still there) 06/04:00 DREAMS 9 Had a dream last night: in real life we have a big wasps' nest under the deck at the cabin - we had spray to use on it but we never actually sprayed it. But I dreamt about this big nest of DEAD BLACK bees hanging under the deck. The nest looked like a "Winnie-the-Pooh" nest - you know - kind of a cone shape. The feeling? I was glad they're dead and no one got stung and How did they die because we didn't kill them? 10/11:21 DREAMS 9 Had a dream last night, remembered it as I was driving today. Maybe this came from the movie Contagion (that mentions Homeopathy) that was on TV as I was going to bed the previous night - not the night that I had the dream. Dream: There was a very favorable article in a magazine about Homeopathy. We were all discussing it. Very excited about it. Got lots of people talking to me about it. New clients booking. Feeling - A Great dream!! 11/09:20 DREAMS 9 Watching the movie Contagion on television, the guy mentioned homeopathy in it, I don't know in what light? I had a dream about homeopathy being mentioned in the news. A very favorable article in a magazine about homeopathy, it got lots of people talking about it, it was exciting. Patients were booking appointments. 15/08:01 DREAMS 9 I had a dream on Monday night (day 13) - it was so real that I wasn't sure it was actually a dream! It was about appointments on my calendar at this new office I am working in one day/week. I had appointments scheduled on this particular day for one at Noon and then not another one until 7PM. When I woke I couldn't tell if that was true or not. I had to go into the website and then I saw that it wasn't true and must have been a dream. In reality the website is not easy to use and is hard moving from one day to another to check schedules. The FEELING about the dream was that it was INCONVENIENT! Both asleep and in real life - that the website and schedule are hard to use. Felt irritated. I have a good feeling about the job in general but I am waiting to see if the pace picks up after summer is over. 20/08:01 DREAMS 9 A few dreams - the same kind - taking current occurrences and putting them into different scenarios.
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