Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

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Promethium‐mur Journal 76 13/11:17 MIND 15 I am not writing a journal, it's one of those irritable things. I am opposed to doing it, I am telling my supervisor, I do not need to do it twice. Easily annoyed, impatient. 13/11:18 MIND 15 Pulling up behind somebody, if they are going too slowly while driving, I think to myself, "Jerk". I am tapping my fingers, energy irritability. I just have to get something out something needs to move, to release. I will wiggle my leg. I do this anxiously. 13/11:19 MIND 15 I started a paint project over a year ago and procrastinated, stalled out on it, and stopped it, now suddenly yesterday, I decided to tackle that. It needs to get organized, to get done. I was delayed, I planned to start it in the morning, but I was delayed until 12 pm, normally I would say, "It's too late now." But, I did it, I stayed with it until 8 pm last night. 13/11:22 MIND 15 I just all of a sudden felt an inner motivation, I am pretty laid back most of the time. All of a sudden I wanted to do this. It was a beautiful fall day and I was industrious. 13/11:22 MIND 15 It's a coffee color, I love coffee. 13/11:23 MIND 15 I have been better about not eating between meals. I am more attentive. I have more control. "You know I am not really that hungry, why do I need to eat that?" 13/11:23 MIND 15 I am left handed and I am holding it in my left hand. Free associating. 13/11:29 MIND 15 The penetrating warmth of the sun. I love to sit in the sun on a cool day. It's just peaceful warm, being enveloped, like a mom holding her baby, warm and reassuring. 13/11:30 MIND 15 "Get out of here!" The substance is encased in something and wants to be released. It wants out of the vial. Thousands of multicolored ping pong balls bouncing everywhere. Fluorescents, green, pink, orange, blue ping pong balls. They are out in space, bouncing all over every direction, I don't understand what brings them back, but they are bouncing all over. It's chaos. It's crazy. I want to leave. It's driving me crazy, too much stimulation. 13/11:33 MIND 15 Overstimulated, if you could imagine, radar waves, radiation, invisible waves bouncing, bouncing, bouncing, all different kinds of frequencies, it's pure chaos to me. 13/11:35 MIND 15 I want to go outside, the fresh air, it's cooler, I am not surrounded by the chaos, and the bouncing waves, I am standing barefoot on a wood deck, solid. 13/11:35 MIND 15 The other experience was not solid atoms bouncing all over. 13/11:36 MIND 15 I am uncomfortable. It's like entering a room with too many electric devices turned on at the same time, too many impulses, and I feel I have to keep moving. 13/11:37 MIND 15 Hands are moving, feet are moving, I am moving, I have to ground, I am going barefooted to the grass. 13/11:38 MIND 15 I threw the remedy vial, it helped a lot to get rid of it, I threw it out into the yard, I don't know if I will ever find it again. I no longer have that energy making me move. A little bit of the chaos remains, I am wandering through the yard. 13/11:40 MIND 15 I will try to take notes, something interrupts and I find an excuse not to do it. 13/11:41 MIND 15 I actually felt more just holding the remedy, than actually taking the remedy. 00/00:00 MIND 16 Right before taking the remedy feeling light & happy & positive, very good feeling 00/00:00 MIND 16 Right before taking the remedy, I felt so calm. I felt light, and happy that I was helping people by doing the proving. 03/15:00 MIND 16 At work today, there was an important book of data I could not locate. I looked for it all morning & couldn't find it. I asked my supervisor if she had the book; she didn't have it but she found it right above my desk & I hadn't seen it! 03/20:30 MIND 16 I'm not feeling any effects so I may take a second dose of the remedy after talking with the Master Prover. 04/20:10 MIND 16 Before I take the second dose I was a little intense (I don't consider this as my symptom because it was because of an argument I had with my husband & my reaction wasn't different). I tried to calm myself down before taking the remedy & I did, but right after taking the remedy I felt much better, not intense at all. 05/12:35 MIND 16 It's stuck. I can't take it. I have to dig to get it out. It's in deep. It's not superficial. To make it free to take it out. 05/12:36 MIND 16 It's not easy to get it. When it is deep. Something unattainable. You can't get it. Something deep under the ground. Something very deep you can't really get it. Not easily go and find it. Dig and dig to get it. 05/12:37 MIND 16 Unattainable = something you can't have it easily. Like some metal very very deep under the ground you can't find it. Like the metals in the mines. Not easily attainable.
Promethium‐mur Journal 77 05/12:38 MIND 16 Hard to get air in and out. Like you have to struggle to get it. You have to pay attention to get it. It's not like something I can't do it, but have to work harder than regularly. It's not impossible. Impossible = not going to happen. Like looking for metal in mine you have to dig hard, you have to work. I know I can do it. It's doable. Impossible = not accessible. Like looking for something precious in the mine and don't find it. 05/12:39 MIND 16 I can not do anything about this. That stuck feeling. I can't change him. I'm stuck in this. I'm the one who has to be flexible. To go with the flow. What other people are doing. Like you are in this box and you have to accept it. You can't move your hands or anything, it's just what it is. You can't move hands or feet, you have to stay straight. that is the way that is it. No tightness or anything. Just being in a box where you can't move your hands. This is what it is. You have to accept what is. No pressure or anything, but you can't change the situation. I was angry. I was intense. I want to change, and I know I can't. I'm fixed in this too. I tried to take 10 minutes for myself and calm myself down. Right after remedy, felt everything is fine. 05/12:40 MIND 16 Everything is fine, if I cannot change it, everything the way it is fine. I'd like to change things the way I'd like to be better, I knew I couldn't, made me angry. But after the remedy, it was fine. It wasn't that important any more. No anger. I'm not feeling intense any more. No fight between the way it is and the way I wanted it to be. There wasn't any fight. 05/12:41 MIND 16 Peace, you feel light. Like before taking first dose, so happy and light. This time it was peace. No weight. Nothing to be worried about. 05/14:40 MIND 16 I was going to send my journal to my supervisor and I sent it to another person with the same first name! 05/14:50 MIND 16 I realized I didn't send my journal to my supervisor so I sent the e-mail but without any attachment! 05/15:00 MIND 16 I have a meeting at work but I feel foggy, I feel like I'm confused & my brain is not functioning well. 05/20:00 MIND 16 I was driving & I turned right onto the wrong side of the street, the cars were coming toward me!! It was on CR-81 which is 0.5 mile from our house & I go there almost every day!! 06/9:15 MIND 16 In case taking I wrote some funny words & had some misspelling. 07/00:00 MIND 16 Confused, absentminded, today I made a couple of big mistakes while driving. I turned into traffic on the wrong side of the road. On the streets near my house. These are familiar streets. This is very unusual. 07/00:00 MIND 16 I have been making mistakes with electronics, emailing without attachments, emailing the wrong person. 07/00:00 MIND 16 I feel like an idiot, but I am not embarrassed. 07/00:00 MIND 16 I asked my supervisor who is a very serious professor if she had seen a very important book. She came to my office and there it was just above my desk. This is not what usually what happens. She said, "You need a vacation." I was not embarrassed, that would be my normal response to this situation. 07/13:30 MIND 16 Very confused. Made a couple of mistakes in driving. Glad Police didn't catch me!! 07/16:04 MIND 16 It feels like, it reminds me when you look at a cardiogram, how it goes up and down when it is working. It is just one. 07/16:06 MIND 16 The bar is the silver color of metal. 07/16:09 MIND 16 Instead of shortness of breath, now it's the shortening of the muscle. It is in a different way. This is going up and down to increase the size or length of the muscle, of the smooth muscle. 07/16:15 MIND 16 I am under the ground, not easy to find, heavy, very heavy, you have to work hard to get me, to find me. It is not impossible, but you have to work hard to find it. Something deep underground. Very heavy, it goes down and down, it probably takes other things with it down, because of the heaviness. 07/16:16 MIND 16 It's deep. It's confusing. As you are going to get it, you get confused along the way. Confusing, disorienting, it's unclear, foggy, it's not definite, it's like a fog. Like driving in fog, you can't see where you are going, you are not clear. It's like when you go to get the substance. 07/16:20 MIND 16 It's silvery, grayish, a pale blue, going from blue to gray, it's not dark blue. It's like a steam, you can't not see it. 07/16:20 MIND 16 It's like a steam, but it's not moist. Just the steam, gray-blue, you can't see through it. It's not a hot temperature. 07/16:23 MIND 16 Something that you have to go get, to go through the fogginess, the steam to get there. 08/18:00 MIND 16 I woke up from the nap and took my daughter to soccer practice. I take her to practice twice a week every week and today I took her to the wrong place! Tried to call her coach and let him know she will be late but didn't find my cell phone. I thought I left it at home; after I dropped her off I found my cell phone in my pocket!
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Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

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