Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

Promethium‐mur Journal 52
31/14:00 MIND 4 Have been trying for months to find someone to move a piece of furniture 300 miles so I can use it in my new
office. It's a symbolic piece that feels perfect for this next stage of my profession. Just when I get super clear
about my work priorities, a transport option appears out of the blue.
32/09:00 MIND 4 Another experience of "knowing" that I have turned the corner, am on the final stretch, engaged and clear in
what matters most to me, what are the central aspects of my life that will guide my choices, even the most
insignificant. It feels very empowering, exciting. Very different than feeling balloted here and there by too
many callings, too many commitments. I feel settled, relieved. I am home, I am stepping out, I have made my
choices. I have chosen. I am on my way.
32/09:00 MIND 4 Having to make a decision about a training program. How could I not seize this opportunity. But it is not what
I most need at this moment and will get in the way of my ability to put my attention where I feel committed to.
I can feel myself waffling, tempted, telling myself I can fit it in, handle it.... but that is my old pattern, and I
am making more deliberate choices now.
34/00:00 MIND 4 I’m good, really good, 5 or 10 min before calling I thought don’t have anything to say haven’t been tracking
for 10 days, a week, not daily, I was thinking I sure hope supervisor has questions, I picked up the phone and
got really irritated, don’t want bother, distracting.
34/00:00 MIND 4 Got really strong clarity, intention what important decided clear focus, clarity, my core focus, this irritation
like I don’t want to bother with things that feel like distractions that are pulling me away from who I want to
be or what other obligations, like if bunch stuff on table sweep it off throw it in the trash just coming up right
now pretty strongly… just noticing the strength of that feeling and getting that it would be good to pay more
attention to the discernment of feeling irritation and put in feeling what willing to put time or attention to feels
really big shifting from what I should do to what I really want to do.
34/00:00 MIND 4 In the retreat…. had people write myths where at and what wanted to do in life… think I’ll put it in, has to do
with what should do and what want to do, a lot came up about choice and think has to do with proving…[see
attachment]
34/00:00 MIND 4 Been living out of a suitcase all summer in less than a month done too all movement and shifting fine yearning
to settle in calm and have a real slow calm rhythm, just standing here in the middle of my living room and just
feeling that stillness and feeling like I’m coming to give myself permission to be in stillness is at least
sometimes, not feel huge.
34/00:00 MIND 4 I need to go to event afternoon, hesitate car pooling and go on own, thinking on own so could escape and not
feel trapped and want be in control choice and now feel with stillness can car pool if feel want to go… can just
sit there be with it good exercise weekend activity just go and hang out however much time that is almost
never feel like I have day off feels like part of that leveling out calm…
34/00:00 MIND 4 I’m feeling antsy want to clean my house before my boyfriend comes tonight
34/00:00 MIND 4 I don't know what else, sound like run course… and yet irritating thing interesting and know my life gotten
really clear, pointed right direction how choose things feels like I’ve turned a corner, interesting turn corner
opossum too so much for something done with…
34/00:00 MIND 4 How might be different, at corner ready to turn apprehensive angle ready to turn and feeling that sense of all
cells and all possibilities available and now feel clear recognition the corner has turned and on my way and
that feeling of infinite possibilities has come to clear substance form that already is now and will continue to
go forward that conglomeration I’m metabolizing and heading off into a nice deep feel from a calm deep place
and that feels exciting and energizing like a relief can (deep breath) can relax let things go let guardedness go
just be move forward simple-ness have made can do triage based on everything that matters move forward
based on this triage adequate… seemed like on corner not know which way to go ….. still hanging on to
him… weird looking stuffed animal… looks like it doesn’t have an identity looks like an animal of
possibilities looks like kindergarten make up barely formed odd identifying characteristics, not a lot,
anyway… helpful see difference similar context
34/00:00 MIND 4 I don't know, what else excited hang up phone and get on it like should dance down street sing this is first day
of the rest of my life something really corny… I feel pretty complete.
01/02:00 MIND 7 So low = worthless, like shit. Dirty, like stigma. Stigma = like this girl, didn't do anything to deserve this.
She is low and dirty of course she should be treated that was. Of course. No thought. Already an
assumption, a certain way of being of going. He was haughty, the system in India, you were born into it, you
can't help it.
01/13:00 MIND 7 Trepidations, I've already not allowed the remedy in. I'm resistant. Here (heart). Like a wall, can't come
thru, like I've put it here and can't see it. Just want to forget, don't want it to exist. I don't feel connected to it.
I'm not letting it in. I don't want it. on a string, like we're connected, and I don't want it. Afraid of it.