Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

Promethium‐mur Journal 69
03/08:20 MIND 11 Dad, mom and I doing cement work. Watching myself and what was happening as if from a few steps away. I
needed to be quiet and do my job. Be friends with both of them. Not my place to hurry things along. Not my
place to do anything but my job. Able to control what I was doing and feeling.
04/12:30 MIND 11 I was cutting flowers and putting them in water in a bucket to use at an art show later; at one point I glanced at
my bucket and saw that it was tipped over; I immediately screamed, "Ahh! Who knocked over my flowers?";
but then just as immediately I realized that maybe the wind had done it, and I calmed down; usually, with the
stress of art-show preparation, I'm touchy and in a huge hurry before I leave, and if something goes wrong, I'm
in a bad mood; this time, although I was still in a hurry and stressed, the upset over the flowers that may have
been ruined didn't stick with me, and my mood was fine; I can't believe how quickly I calmed down and
realized that there may be another explanation for the flowers falling over than someone knocking it over
07/12:38 MIND 11 Knew I had a phone appointment but didn't remember who it was with. (this is second time one of us forgot
our phone appointment)
07/12:43 MIND 11 Noticing more symptoms either in morning or evening.
10/10:00 MIND 11 Doing cement work with mom and dad; much calmer, lighter feeling than normal; I'm singing, making jokes,
feeling very light rather than serious, rigid, strict; little mistakes or problems are no big deal to me now; other
people's serious/rigid/strict ways don't bother me or affect me at all, I just laugh and keep working; I take a
little more time because it doesn't really matter so much if I'm super fast, I'm not worried at all if I'm a shovelfull
off of stones or sand, I'm much more lighthearted and easy going than normal
10/11:30 MIND 11 I'm preparing last-minute things so we can leave for an art show 7 hours away; usually I'm focused, in a hurry,
in a heavy mood, not wanting to be bothered, but this time I'm relaxed, lighthearted, still focused but not
tunnel-visioned; I'm not worrying so much about time, just going along and getting things ready in a relaxed
manner
10/13:00 MIND 11 Between cement and driving when doing my work to prepare to leave I was petting my dog a lot. Told him I'd
miss him. More sentimental than normal. When something happens that would normally trigger a bit of anger
in me, I am pulling back instead of an over exaggerated reaction. A humility. Calmness that is like, just let it
be. When husband or father says something that normally would trigger me I am more humble, laughing, and
letting it go.
10/21:23 MIND 11 Driving 6.5 hours to an art show, and 5 miles from the destination, my gas runs out; granted the gas tank gauge
doesn't work, but I've always used the same conservative estimates on how far I can go on a full tank, and this
time it wasn't nearly conservative enough; talking to my dad on the phone since he knows the truck well, I'm
shaking, feeling extremely stupid, a bit dumbfounded, the repercussions of my mistake swimming around my
head
11/10:40 MIND 11 Body is very shaky as I wait for our truck to be fixed; I feel my limbs shaky, my arms and legs feel unsteady,
which is quite unusual for me; inside my chest and throat are shaky, and I'd like to let it out by crying; it's a
nervous shakiness, unsteady, I feel like an idiot and just hope everything turns out okay. internal shaking and
wobbliness in my limbs.
11/12:44 MIND 11 Normal reaction to problems would be to be totally pissed off. Instead I feel humble and calmer.
11/14:30 MIND 11 So relaxed, I'm not very productive or proactive; it's hard for me to help set up the booth like I usually do, I
just sit and write price tags or talk to vendors next door; my husband is getting upset with me because I'm
almost flighty; he wonders what's wrong with me
12/10:00 MIND 11 Can't find the scissors for the life of me; I know I brought them with us to the show, and yet they're nowhere to
be found; Finally, my husband finds them where I had been using them about a half hour earlier…I didn't even
remember until then that I'd been using them!
12/17:00 MIND 11 Noticing that I'm challenging more than normal but in a light way; in other words, if the other person doesn't
agree with my challenging statement, I don't feel bad about it or about the person; I'm letting it go; for
example, another artist said he wanted to take a cold shower because it was so hot, and while I'd usually say
nothing, this time I said that I liked taking a hot shower on a hot day, and then I proceeded to explain why and
give an example; I did this at least twice today
13/18:00 MIND 11 Feeling fat in my lower body; I wear these pants once every week during art-show season, and they have felt
much tighter than normal these past two weeks; my legs almost look swollen; my weight certainly has always
collected in my lower body rather than my upper body, but this has been fast and for little reason since I don't
feel I've been eating too terribly
13/20:45 MIND 11 Got a speeding ticket while driving on the highway from the art show…I haven't gotten a speeding ticket for
about 13 years! The policeman was one of the two who helped me during my van breakdown on Thursday
night; I felt surprisingly okay about the ticket, light, not too upset, which is unusual for me in that situation