Promethium muriaticum Entire Proving Journal

Promethium‐mur Journal 70
13/22:00 MIND 11 Very snappy and irritable today; quick to irritability, very sensitive to tones of people's voices, mostly my
husband's; I feel blamed for everything, and I feel that I'm told everything I do is wrong; I explain my way of
thinking so my husband can understand where I'm coming from, but he thinks I'm trying to control or just
complaining when I explain; I get mad at him because he doesn't explain himself, so his actions seem
unsupported by logic; I can't win!
15/10:47 MIND 11 When questioned by the supervisor about the irritability and what it felt like: sensitive, reactive, touchy.
Sensitive to words, tones, facial expressions. Feeling is heavy, tense, rigid.
15/10:47 MIND 11 When questioned by supervisory about the calm and what it felt like: Lightness, reserved, calm. Let it go.
Relaxed. Take your time. Loose.
16/01:30 MIND 11 Getting ready for bed, I heard the doorbell and loud pounding on the door; I thought my husband had locked
himself out while firing the kiln, so I was surprised when I saw a man I didn't know; I thought, "there's no way
in hell I'm going to open this door to a strange man at this hour" but then I saw his police uniform; I opened
the door and held my dog between us; he said they got a 911 call from our phone number which he confirmed,
but the call was static (no one was there); I said no one had called, and he thought it might have been due to
the storm we'd just had; he then took my full name and birthdate in order to write up a report; the whole thing
was odd...what's with me and cops lately? After he left, I started feeling stupid because I'd just given my
personal information to a stranger without verifying a police badge or even looking to see if his car was
actually a police car; I felt a bit vulnerable and immediately thought the man might now use my personal
information to commit identity theft or steal money; it was a bit hard for me to go to sleep after that because of
my worrying; it all happened so fast and was such a surprise that I couldn't think about consequences and what
to do in the moment, but my mind went over it and over it afterward
16/18:35 MIND 11 I'm feeling pressure from my husband and from responsibilities weighing down on me; I'm doing so many
little but important things for the business, trying hard to keep everything straight and not forget anything, and
my husband comes over and says, "Let's go for a walk now"; I don't want to stop what I'm doing, but I know
it'll be good for me and he needs to break, too, so I get ready and go; husband says, "The dog and I were
waiting and waiting," which is what makes me feel the pressure; it's the expectation, the "jump and do it now"
feeling, will I get everything done if I drop everything at this point and take a break? And part of the feeling of
pressure is feeling that my husband doesn't think I'm doing anything important, so I can just drop what I'm
doing and go
18/19:00 MIND 11 Arrived at my hotel for school weekend as usual and found that my reservation had been made for a week
earlier, and therefore there was no reservation for me this weekend; I was a no-show last weekend, so they
charged my credit card for one night; it all worked out because the clerk believed that I hadn't made the
reservation for last week and so he credited the night charged to my card to this weekend; but I didn't get the
room I wanted because of this "happening"; I don't know how this mistake happened because I even remember
looking at the calendar to make sure I had the right dates!
20/17:00 MIND 11 My mom did an unfair thing which was totally illogical, and when I complained, she argued with irrelevant
arguments, basically saying that I couldn't do anything about it because she was making the decision; I was
feeling like my hands were tied, I was stuck, I had no control at all, I felt stifled, smothered, "sat on"; my
image of "sat on" was of a person sitting on my chest while I was lying down flat; it was a feeling of being
stuck by someone else's doing, I couldn't move, I couldn't do what I wanted, no regard for me as a human and
as an adult, no compassion for what I wanted and why. (When asked to describe more by supervisor:
contained, hopeless, I can't do anything)
20/22:30 MIND 11 I seem to be more prone to "happenings" on this remedy, for example with cops (truck running out of gas,
getting a speeding ticket, cop coming to my door at night), with utensils (peeler "peeling" my pinky, fork
stabbing my thumb), my hotel reservation was screwed up so I was a no-show when I didn't want a reservation
and had no reservation when I wanted one, I did a lot of work on a case with a computer program and then it
was suddenly gone with seemingly no chance of recovery; why are all these things happening to me? Saying to
myself: why me, why now? Having bad luck but not too terrible and it always turns out. It can be dealt with
without disrupting too much of what I'm supposed to be doing. Still, quite disruptive things happening. Big
things, and yet they work out quickly and work out easily. A feeling of stupidity. Who stabs their finger with a
fork or peels their finger with a peeler? Who runs out of gas? Why does a cop come to your house at 1:30 am
to tell you they got a 911 call from your phone number? A feeling of disbelief through most of the happenings.
21/21:00 MIND 11 Twirling left side of my hair with my left pointer finger all day and some yesterday; I haven't done that for
years