Heaven and Hell - Swedenborg Foundation

HEAVEN AND HELL 306
love could be enumerated even to many thousands, not even
one of which is known to man, or could enter into the
comprehension of anyone who is not in the marriage of good
and truth from the Lord.
380. The love of dominion of one over the other entirely
takes away marriage love and its heavenly delight, for as has
been said above, marriage love and its delight consists in the
will of one being that of the other, and this mutually and
reciprocally. This is destroyed by love of dominion in marriage,
since he that domineers wishes his will alone to be in the other,
and nothing of the other’s will to be reciprocally in himself,
which destroys all mutuality, and thus all sharing of any love
and its delight one with the other. And yet this sharing and
consequent conjunction are the interior delight itself that is
called blessedness in marriage. This blessedness, with
everything that is heavenly and spiritual in marriage love, is so
completely extinguished by love of dominion as to destroy even
all knowledge of it; and if that love were referred to it would be
held in such contempt that any mention of blessedness from
that source would excite either laughter or anger.
[2] When one wills or loves what the other wills or loves each
has freedom, since all freedom is from love; but where there is
dominion no one has freedom; one is a servant, and the other
who rules is also a servant, for he is led as a servant by the lust
of ruling. But all this is wholly beyond the comprehension of
one who does not know what the freedom of heavenly love is.
Nevertheless from what has been said above about the origin
and essence of marriage love it can be seen that so far as
dominion enters, minds are not united but divided. Dominion
subjugates, and a subjugated mind has either no will or an
opposing will. If it has no will it has also no love; and if it has
an opposing will there is hatred in place of love.
[3] The interiors of those who live in such marriage are in
mutual collision and strife, as two opposites are wont to be,
however their exteriors may be restrained and kept quiet for the