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I listened to her faultless voice, which at fourteen was the voice of a gr<br />

own woman, filled with the purity of wings and the pain of exile and the fl<br />

ying of eagles and the lovelessness of life and the melody of bulbuls and t<br />

he glorious omnipresence of God; a voice which was afterwards compared to t<br />

hat of Muhammed's muezzin Bilal, issuing from the lips of a somewhat scrawny girl.<br />

What I did not understand must wait to be told; let me record here that my<br />

sister earned her name at her fourteenth birthday party, and was known afte<br />

r that as Jamila Singer; and that I knew, as I listened to 'My Red Dupatta<br />

Of Muslin' and 'Shahbaz Qalandar', that the process which had begun during<br />

my first exile was nearing completion in my second; that, from now on, Jami<br />

la was the child who mattered, and that I must take second place to her tal<br />

ent for ever.<br />

Jamila sang I, humbly, bowed my head. But before she could enter fully into<br />

her kingdom, something else had to happen: I had to be properly finished o<br />

ff.<br />

Drainage and the desert<br />

What chews on bones refuses to pause… it's only a matter of time. This i<br />

s what keeps me going: I hold on to Padma. Padma is what matters Padma m<br />

uscles, Padma's hairy forearms, Padma my own pure lotus… who, embarrasse<br />

d, commands: 'Enough. Start. Start now.'<br />

Yes, it must start with the cable. Telepathy set me apart; telecommunicat<br />

ions dragged me down…<br />

Amina Sinai was cutting verrucas out of her feet when the telegram arrived…<br />

once upon a time. No, that won't do, there's no getting away from the date<br />

: my mother, right ankle on left knee, was scooping corn tissue out of the<br />

sole of her foot with a sharp ended nail file on September 9th, 1962. And t<br />

he time? The time matters, too. Well, then: in the afternoon. No, it's impo<br />

rtant to be more… At the stroke of three o'clock, which, even in the north,<br />

is the hottest time of day, a bearer brought her an envelope on a silver d<br />

ish. A few seconds later, far away in New Delhi, Defence Minister Krishna M<br />

enon (acting on his own initiative, during Nehru's absence at the Commonwea<br />

lth Prime Ministers' Conference) took the momentous decision to use force i<br />

f necessary against the Chinese army on the Himalayan frontier. The Chinese<br />

must be ejected from the Thag La ridge,' Mr Menon said while my mother tor<br />

e open a telegram. 'No weakness will be shown.' But this decision was a mer<br />

e trifle when set beside the implications of my mother's cable; because whi<br />

le the eviction operation, code named leghorn, was doomed to fail, and even<br />

tually to turn India into that most macabre of theatres, the Theatre of War<br />

, the cable was to plunge me secretly but surely towards the crisis which w<br />

ould end with my final eviction from my own inner world. While the Indian X

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