Salman Rushdie Midnight's children Salman Rushdie Midnight's ...

Some certainties: that the voice of Jamila Singer sang Pakistani troops to
their deaths; and that muezzins from their minarets yes, even on Clayton Ro
ad promised us that anyone who died in battle went straight to the camphor
garden. The mujahid philosophy of Syed Ahmad Barilwi ruled the air; we were
invited to make sacrifices 'as never before'.
And on the radio, what destruction, what mayhem! In the first five days of
the war Voice of Pakistan announced the destruction of more aircraft than I
ndia had ever possessed; in eight days, All India Radio massacred the Pakis
tan Army down to, and considerably beyond, the last man. Utterly distracted
by the double insanity of the war and my private life, I began to think de
sperate thoughts… Great sacrifices: for instance, at the battle for Lahore?
On September 6th, Indian troops crossed the Wagah border, thus hugely broa
dening the front of the war, which was no longer limited to Kashmir; and di
d great sacrifices take place, or not? Was it true that the city was virtua
lly defenceless, because the Pak Army and Air Force were ail in the Kashmir
sector? Voice of Pakistan said: O memorable day! O unarguable lesson in th
e fatality of delay! The Indians, confident of capturing the city, stopped
for breakfast. All India Radio announced the fall of Lahore; meanwhile, a p
rivate aircraft spotted the breakfasting invaders. While the B.B.C. picked
up the A.I.R. story, the Lahore militia was mobilized. Hear the Voice of Pa
kistan! old men, young boys, irate grandmothers fought the Indian Army; bri
dge by bridge they battled, with any available weapons! Lame men loaded the
ir pockets with grenades, pulled out the pins, flung themselves beneath adv
ancing Indian tanks; toothless old ladies disembowelled Indian babus with p
itchforks! Down to the last man and child, they died: but they saved the ci
ty, holding off the Indians until air support arrived! Martyrs, Padma! Hero
es, bound for the perfumed garden! Where the men would be given four beaute
ous houris, untouched by man or djinn; and the women, four equally virile m
ales! Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? What a thing this holy
war is, in which with one supreme sacrifice men may atone for all their ev
ils! No wonder Lahore was defended; what did the Indians have to look forwa
rd to? Only re incarnation as cockroaches, maybe, or scorpions, or green me
dicine wallahs there's really no comparison.
But did it or didn't it? Was that how it happened? Or was All India Radio gre
at tank battle, huge Pak losses, 450 tanks destroyed telling the truth?
Nothing was real; nothing certain. Uncle Puffs came to visit the Clayton Ro
ad house, and there were no teeth in his mouth. (During India's China war,
when our loyalties were different, my mother had given gold bangles and jew
elled ear rings to the 'Ornaments for Armaments' campaign; but what was tha
t when set against the sacrifice of an entire mouthful of gold?) 'The natio
n,' he said indistinctly through his untoothed gums, 'must not, darn it, be