narratives of three generations of urban middle-class - eTheses ...

group. They were more willing to discuss this space of male homosocial intimacy in
which they could be ‘free without being judged’. Therefore they excitedly discussed how
as same gendered friends they bonded together through sexual jokes, flirting, teasing
one another, sharing drinks and smokes or planning together to help a friend propose a
girl for a date or even falling out because of the same girl. These disclosures also took
time until they could become flowing narratives. Such spontaneous flows were often
aided by ‘breaking the ice’ through a keen, empathetic, non-judgemental body language
that needed to be performed as friend in the researcher.
Having said this, it is important to qualify that in no way do I intend to theorize an
essentialized maleness/masculinity or femaleness/femininity or treat intimacy as a
‘naturally’ sexed or fixed gendered emotion. These were at best culturally specific
gendered cues to subjects’ ‘doing’ intimacy that provoked further explorations to unravel
its negotiated dynamic. In fact, ethnographic experiences also often overturned this
conventional gendered dynamic amongst interviewees in which men with whom I share
a close intimate friendship often disclosed more intimate stories than many women. This
spurred an analysis of a more nuanced nature through a deeper delving into the
gendered dynamic of heterosexual identities that were often fragmented subjectivities
that varied across a range of conflicting, competing and contradictory discourses of
heterosexual intimacies. The next section elaborates on the method of deconstructive
discourse analysis that was employed to appreciate the multiplicities of discourses and
subjectivities that can sociologically shed light on the dynamic contexts and processes
of interaction, interpretation and meaning-making.
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