narratives of three generations of urban middle-class - eTheses ...

more so within the self-prolaimed ‘progressive’ Bengalis who, it can be argued, operate
in relation to a ‘respectable’ colonial modernity (Banerjee, 2006) and its ‘new patriarchy’
(Chatterjee, 1989). It is also noteworthy in this context how the structure of the circuit of
matrimonial exchanges tends to reproduce the structure of the social space where taste
and class distinction become intertwined through a vicious circle, functioning to be a
match maker (Bourdieu, 1984 : 241-243).
Sunanda. Udayan, Manjir, Anandita, Tanya belong to the same generation and class
but interestingly represent diverse and similar cultural patterns through their practices of
intimacy. Through a selection and analysis of their narratives, I show differing patterns
and common patterns of embodying a middle-class culture that is at once homogenous
and heterogeneous in its effect of shaping intimate spaces of heterosexual coupling,
family ideologies and self narratives. This intersection of class culture, family relations
and gender in shaping intimate relations illustrate how personal intimate relations are, in
fact, mediated by one’s socio-cultural locations and their subjective interpretations.
‘Intimate’ Language: Intimate Conjugal Pronoun:
In addition to the detailed discussions/debates on how a marriage should ideally be
performed, presented to the society and consumed or celebrated by its participants, the
language of intimacy is also highly deliberated upon and carefully ‘chosen’ by couples
often in conjunction with their families. The modern ethos of ‘affective individualism’
(Stone, 1977) that facilitated marriage of ‘choice’, popularly known as ‘love marriage’
helped to deliberate upon the intimate language of conjugality within couple spaces.
The modern individual continuously strives to negotiate with the socio-culturally
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