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narratives of three generations of urban middle-class - eTheses ...

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homemaking with your heart and love). Although she has compromised on ‘work’<br />

outside for ‘work’ inside, she believes that pr<strong>of</strong>essional work is integral to one’s selfindependent<br />

identity especially in the context where conjugal spaces have become<br />

more seconomically demanding than ever before and where a sense <strong>of</strong> independence<br />

and respect comes from one’s financial independence. She says,<br />

“This is the age <strong>of</strong> ‘competition’ and you have to be the best in your field to excel<br />

in the job market. I may not be a working pr<strong>of</strong>essional myself but I am able to<br />

appreciate that material earnings <strong>of</strong> your own does give you a better bargaining<br />

power within the family. It is sad but true that however much you might put your<br />

labour at home, your work is ultimately recognized when you go out to work.<br />

Since I have given my full dedication to bringing up my daughters by sacrificing<br />

my job, as a mother I expect them to do well both academically and<br />

pr<strong>of</strong>essionally. It has always been a dream for myself (sadly contemplative).”<br />

A common sight in <strong>urban</strong> Bengal is small groups <strong>of</strong> women clustered outside <strong>of</strong> schools<br />

to give adda when they go to drop and pick up their children from school. Dalia labels<br />

these groups <strong>of</strong> women as “housewives who have no work other than to fanatically<br />

discuss about their children’s progress in school and criticize teachers for not doing their<br />

work properly. They seem to want to fulfil all their unfulfilled dreams through their<br />

children!”<br />

Contrary to her accusation <strong>of</strong> these women’s ‘obsession’ with their children’s<br />

performance, Mita, a second generation homemaker is critical <strong>of</strong> working mothers. She<br />

says,<br />

“Women who work outside home get so busy with their own pr<strong>of</strong>essional life and<br />

individual self that they <strong>of</strong>ten fail to be good mothers whose duty is to guide and<br />

shape the future <strong>of</strong> their children.”<br />

181

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