narratives of three generations of urban middle-class - eTheses ...

practice of dowry in which dowry is popularly narrated by many within this class across
generation in the words of Udayan – “as primarily practised by ‘money minded’
‘business class culture’ of the ‘marwaris’!” The culture of dowry is uniformly looked down
upon within the Bengali bhadrasamaj. Second generation Bidhan’s narrative in this
context is heavily representative of many others’ narratives within this class-culture,
“We ‘respectable’, ‘literate’ and ‘cultured’ Bengalis take pride in our morals and
values. Unlike other states in India like for example, Punjab or Hyderabad where
even educated people take dowry, Bengal generally but particularly ‘educated’
middle-class banagli people refrain from this immoral practice. That way, we are
much more ‘progressive’ and ‘better’ than the rest of India where there may be
more money but ‘less morals, culture and education’!”
Although there is a general consensus among the bhadralok that the practice of dowry
is a sign of ‘backwardness’, a sign of ‘illiteracy’ and ‘lack of culture’, it is important to
note that the gender inequality associated with this practice is heavily persistent within
the bhadrasamaj. For instance, the status of the bride’s side of family is often
measured against the ‘gifts’ it ‘sends’ to the girl, to the boy and to the boy’s side at the
time of marriage. The marriage ritual of ‘kanyadan’ which implies the giving away of the
daughter to her husband by her father, epitomizes this culture of dowry at its best,
although this ritual is never given the meaning of a dowry within much of the
bhadrasamaj. The Bengali bhadralok, is, in fact, proud of his ‘respectability’ across its
community and nation and hence quite respectably and sophisticatedly euphemizes
dowry as symbolic ‘gift-giving’. Interestingly the responsibility of ‘gift-giving’ is
undertaken almost one sidedly by the bride’s side and is most effective through its
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