narratives of three generations of urban middle-class - eTheses ...

homosocial bonding and loyalty is, in fact, constituted by the very requirements of the
male homosocial space (Flood, 2008) that ‘empowers men through a disempowering
femininity’ (Holland et al., 1998: 160).
Second generation Shubinoy narrates with a masculine pride how he cannot and will
not run after his wife and her fancies unlike his stroino friend who has “no personality”
(implying no maleness).
“Chhele amader ekhon shongshari honu” or our boy is now a domestic expert is read by
third generation recently married Aniket as an insult from his unmarried friends who
‘grab the slightest chance’ to mock at his ‘loss of independence after marriage’. He
confirms himself that,
“Gone are those days where I could stay for late hours out of home drinking,
smoking up and playing cards with friends. Smoking a cigarette at home even
has become a conjugal chap (pressure). Every man in his ‘bachelor’s party’ feels
that ‘it is the last day of my freedom!’ ”
He narrates ‘jokingly’ that he grabs every opportunity to relive his bachelorhood through
getting together with ‘old friends’ and ‘old stuffs’ when his wife goes to her father’s. Such
male homosocial bonding ensures men’s exclusive possession of one another and a
collective possession of hegemonic Maleness.
Thirty-five year-old Arka, retrospectively narrates stories of dadagiri (big bullying) of
‘amader colleger dada’ (our big brother, referring to a college senior). Arka’s story is
representative of many cultural stories of the practice of dadagiri which explains the
various ways in which male homosociality structures men’s heterosexual relations with
women. These ways include- the ideological prioritization of male-male friendships over
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