narratives of three generations of urban middle-class - eTheses ...

Western inspired romantic model of the couple and the nuclear family and an Indian
extended family which gave little space to the couple.
The Post-Colonial Context:
The discourse and imagination of the new woman of the new patriarchy underlying the
anti-colonial main-stream, male-stream discourse continues to exert its hegemonic
influence over a large cross section of population today. Puri (1999) beautifully
describes the ambivalent social expectation of womanhood amidst the post-colonial
milieu: “we were expected to embody a ‘modern’ India without jeopardizing our
‘traditional’ roles as good mothers, wives, and daughters-in-law” (Puri, 1999: 1). For
instance she says that while their socialization made them question retrograde traditions
such as marrying too early or lacking self ambition altogether, they were equally taught
that women should become neither too modern nor too Western. Both at home and at
school in various ways and forms they were constantly reminded how important it was
to embody what was feminine, to carry themselves in a way which protects their
reputations and chastities in society (Puri, 1999: ix).
The influence of family and a surveillance of the community at large, particularly over
women remain very strong. A living example of this influence of the family and the
community is best upheld in cases of love marriages which although have become quite
frequent, are still a complex negotiation of both traditional and modern ways of living.
The efforts of couples in love marriage trying to present their case as a love cum
arranged marriage is a manifestation of how the individual in the romantic tie
accommodates this individualism to the broader acceptance of the community. For
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