The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

SPIRITUAL HELP FOR THE DYING 217
in the nature of God; it is already there. God has already forgiven
you, for God is forgiveness itself. To err is human, and
to forgive divine.' But can you truly forgive yourself? That's
the real question.
"Your feeling of being unforgiven and unforgivable is what
makes you suffer so. But it only exists in your heart or mind.
Haven't you read how in some of the near-death experiences
a great golden presence of light arrives that is all-forgiving?
And it is very often said that it is finally we who judge ourselves.
"In order to clear your guilt, ask for purification from the
depths of your heart. If you really ask for purification, and go
through it, forgiveness will be there. God will forgive you, just
as the father in Christ's beautiful parable forgives the prodigal
son. To help yourself to forgive yourself, remember the good
things you have done, forgive everyone else in your life, and
ask for forgiveness from anyone you may have harmed."
Not everyone believes in a formal religion, but I think
nearly everyone believes in forgiveness. You can be of immeasurable
help to the dying by enabling them to see the
approach of death as the time for reconciliation and reckoning.
Encourage them to make up with friends or relatives, and
to clear their heart, so as not to keep even a trace of hatred or
the slightest grudge. If they cannot meet the person from
whom they feel estranged, suggest they phone them or leave
a taped message or letter and ask for forgiveness. If they suspect
that the person they want to pardon them cannot do so,
it is not wise to encourage them to confront the person
directly; a negative response would only add to their already
great distress. And sometimes people need time to forgive. Let
them leave a message of some kind asking for forgiveness, and
they will at least die knowing that they have done their best.
They will have cleared the difficulty or anger from their heart.
Time and time again, I have seen people whose hearts have
been hardened by self-hatred and guilt find, through a simple
act of asking for pardon, unsuspected strength and peace.
All religions stress the power of forgiveness, and this power
is never more necessary, nor more deeply felt, than when
someone is dying. Through forgiving and being forgiven, we
purify ourselves of the darkness of what we have done, and
prepare ourselves most completely for the journey through
death.