392 APPENDIX THREE not that I haven't tried: I bought a whole suitcase full of pills. But I stopped that question quite a while ago. I guess the reason I did was because it seemed it would be manipulating and interfering with the process that has started. This process is very cleansing for me. I know there is a lot of karma being burned up. It's cleansing perhaps for my mother, because I offer this for her. She suffers quite a bit. Then there are spiritual friends in this group whom I love like brothers and sisters; they suffer too. I have made this covenant with Padmasambhava: If I have to stay around and suffer so that some of it could help cleanse and purify you as well as me, what a blessing that would be! This is my prayer. And I'm not a person who likes to suffer, I can guarantee you that! But I feel that grace, that blessing, pushing me gently into that suffering. And at this point, from studying what I have studied of Rinpoche's teachings on the bardos, death is not an enemy. Just like our thoughts are not to be seen as enemies And life is not an enemy. Life is something glorious, because in this life we can awaken to who we truly are. So I beg you—from the bottom of my heart—not to waste the opportunity you have, while you are still relatively healthy, to work with what Rinpoche is offering you... He knows how to get to the point in speaking and teaching about what Dzogchen is, and he knows how to take you there in the heart. That is so important: and especially when you are getting ready to die. So I'm here to say goodbye. At least for this time around ... I want to say goodbye to all those of you who have become my brothers and sisters, those of you whom I know but have not had the privilege of getting to know better, those of you I have not even met... I have a feeling that within the next six months I may die. It could be within the next three months. So I hold you all in my heart, and I see you all bright and shining. There is no darkness. It is just light from Padmasambhava's heart, pervading all of us. Thanks to the master's blessing.
APPENDIX FOUR Two Mantras The two most famous mantras in Tibet are the mantra of Padmasambhava, called the Vajra Guru Mantra, OM AH HUM VAJRA GURU PADMA SIDDHI HUM, and the mantra of Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of Compassion, OM MANI PADME HUM. Like most mantras they are in Sanskrit, the ancient sacred language of India. THE VAJRA GURU MANTRA The Vajra Guru mantra, OM AH HUM VAJRA GURU PADMA SIDDHI HUM, is pronounced by Tibetans: Om Ah Hung Benza Guru Péma Siddhi Hung. This exploration of its meaning is based on explanations by Dudjom Rinpoche and Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche. OM AH HUM The syllables OM AH HUM have outer, inner, and "secret" meanings. At each of these levels, however, OM stands for the body, AH for the speech, and HUM for the mind. They represent the transformative blessings of the body, speech, and mind of all the buddhas. Externally OM purifies all the negative actions committed through your body, AH through your speech, and HUM through your mind. 1 By purifying your body, speech, and mind, OM AH HUM grants the blessing of the body, speech, and mind of the buddhas. 393