The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations Preface

The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can,
to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.
Letter to his son, in Harold Nicolson ‘Dwight Morrow’ (1935) ch. 3
1.181 John Mortimer 1923—
The law seems like a sort of maze through which a client must be led to safety, a collection of
reefs, rocks and underwater hazards through which he or she must be piloted.
‘Clinging to the Wreckage’ (1982) ch. 7
They do you a very decent death on the hunting field.
‘Paradise Postponed’
At school I never minded the lessons. I just resented having to work terribly hard at playing.
‘A Voyage Round My Father’ (1971) act 1
No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
‘A Voyage Round My Father’ (1971) act 1
All drama is conflict, and unless there’s a war going on, marriage is the great situation in
which conflict takes place.
Interviewed in ‘Sunday Times’ 24 April 1988
A champagne socialist.
Describing himself; attributed
1.182 J. B. Morton (‘Beachcomber’) 1893-1975
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make
a silk purse out of your wife’s ear.
‘By the Way’ (1931) p. 282
Hush, hush,
Nobody cares!
Christopher Robin
Has
Fallen
Down—
Stairs.
‘By the Way’ (1931) p. 367
The man with the false nose had gone to that bourne from which no hollingsworth returns.
‘Gallimaufry’ (1936) ‘Another True Story’
The Doctor is said also to have invented an extraordinary weapon which will make war less
brutal. It is described as a very powerful liquid which rots braces at a distance of a mile.
‘Gallimaufry’ (1936) ‘Bracerot’
Dr Strabismus (Whom God Preserve) of Utrecht has patented a new invention. It is an
illuminated trouser-clip for bicyclists who are using main roads at night.
‘Morton’s Folly’ (1933) p. 99