Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

niucli ol what slie soid to nio except that
very soon irito our first niooting the subject
of adoption came up. Mrs. Cotton was all
for it. Wlion I told lior I did not really want
to loso my baby slio sold I co111d got married
in tho future and have other children. I
would bo twenty-five by 1110 tirno my clilld
was born arid I felt that slio was not sooirig
ma as on individual but was nioroly giving
mo tho same pot answers slie gave lo all
who came in front of her.
It was distracting to me tliat during our interviews
Mrs. Cotton was constantly
smiling, wliicli i tliouglit inoppropriote to
the seriousness of the topic under discussion
and rotlior offensive. I told her thot
I did not bolieva I would ever be able to forgot
my beby if I gave It up and with that
ewful smilo slie roplied that she realized
that women wlio govo up their cliildron for
adoption did not really forget them but
might think, especially on the children's
birthdays, of how tlioy would be ono-yearold,
five-yeors-old, fourteen-years-old, and
so on. I felt more and more depressed, but
slie just kept on smiling.
Another thing about Mrs. Cotton that I
remember very clearly is tilo amount of
timo she spent writing durlng my interviews.
I cannot rccall over giving hor pormission
to fill out tho typo of qucslionnairo
used for adoption, but very soon she started
asking me questions about my famliy
background and writing down what I told
tier. Slio seemed to soe tliis activity as tho
main function of lior position. I would have
liked to liovo spent more timo discussing
tlio pros arid cons of adoption but as far as
Mrs. Cotton was concerned it was all pros,
so why waste tinlo talking about it7 Slio
just wanted to got on witli filling out tlio
forms: I could soo lliot tliis was a far loss
demanding activity requiring no
iniagination.
I was novor given an opportunity to road
over what slio had wrilton nor, to riiy
knowlodgo, was any attornpt mode to
check on wliotlior or not I wos telling tlio
trutli. Yot tliis was the typo of informatiori
that was passed on to adoptive parents
wlio had no moons of cliockin~ its accuracy.
I complolnod to Mrs. Kioly that I was not
very lioppy wltli tho sorvico I was rccoivirig
from tho CAS. Slio said thot If I thought I
was not bolng trontod as an individual
others probably felt tho somo way, and slie
spoko to Mrs. Cotton on my beliall. Tlio
oxpioriotiori Mrs. Cotton gave Mrs. Kicly
was that slio was overworked. In explaining
tliis to nio. Mrs. Kioly said tliat tho
provincial govornmont seemed to prefer to
put most of Its financial resources into
visible public works such as highways or
bridges, rather then in social services.
Because of tliis tlio social sorvico agencies
wore undorstaffod. Evidently Mrs. Cotton
hardly had limo for me but wos tryirig to do
tier duty nevortlieless. I can't help won.
doring if tliings miglit not have worked out
better for mo had she admitted tliero was
little slio could do for mo and loft me to find
my own solution.
Altliougli it was not Mrs. Kioly's responsibility
to advise me, I did press her for an
opinion on what someono in my position
should do because I was feoling quite confused
about what would bc tho best course
to toke. One of my main fears was tliat I
miglit not be stable onougli to be a good
motlier. I hod gono tlirougli a period of
doprossiori some ycors previously during
wliicli timo I hod exl~orioncod difficulty in
holding down a job. My aunt had reminded
me Ilia1 1 had boon having a difficult enough
time supporting myself without taking on
the responsibility of a baby and I had to
admit there was somo trutli in tliat.
Mrs. Kioly arid I hod scvoral coriversatioris
regarding my future. Slio told me tlint
althougli sornc people might admire a girl
wiio kept her baby because this indicated
an ottitudc ol "seeing tliings tlirougii", in
gonoral, slio tliouglit odoption was tho best
course for both riiotlicr end child. Slio said
siie thought tho child of an unmorriod
motlior niiglit be quite lioppy until ho
ronclicd school age but tlion lie would
probably encouritor probloms because tie
FAMILY INVOLVEMENT