Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

"Because tlray (birthpnrents) don't have tlte arrogance
01 prolessional persons sitting in judgment over thom
end beceuso thay are honest anouglt to admit. 'I'm not
setislied with mysell, I'd like to be bettor,' and becouse
they lee1 inadequate end guilty and upset, tlray can be
manipulated very easily by prolessional people and most
01 them lreve been."
-John L. Brown, "Rootodness", FAMILY INVOLVE-
MENT, Moy-Juno. 1974.
. . a + .
MARY ANN, 30, WAS 22 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH
TO MICHAEL IN APRIL, 1968. SHE SURRENDERED FOURTEEN
MONTHS LATER.
"I becomo pregnant when I wos 21; my child's father was tho
first man I lovod. We were both idoellstic end nsivo, Involved In
philosophy and ellti-wor causes. His ovorrldlng concern was thot
he complote his education (ho was then in pre-mod) end that hls
problems wlth the draft be resolved.
My first emotion on loernlng I was pregnont wos feor, but It
wos feor mixed wlth joy bocsuse I hod olweys wonted childron
end I wos corrylng the child of the men I loved. Unlortunotoly, hls
pressures worsened; tensions lncressod, communications between
us become strolnod, end finally broke down snd I couldn't
bring myself to toil hlm I was pregnant until he told me he wos
through with rno. Whon I told him I was fivo months pregnant, ho
sold he would pay my bills, but thot was 011. I was crushed,
emotionelly destroyod. I had no idea what to do.
My parents' reoctlon wos shock, enger, ond shome . . . 'whot
will the neighbors soy . . . this will kill your grandmother, etc.'
They roectod with the standards end morals of their generation,
more out of confusion ond fear, than cruelty (in tho intervening
years, thay hove also suffered).
In my slxth month, I moved in with married friends of my
boyfrlond; I slopt on o couch behind o curtein ond helped out
wlth babysitting snd housowork. My first reaction wos to get
medicol care. I chose o Cotholic hospital becouse they didn't
require money in edvence. This wes my first stop towards losing
my child. I begen ettendlng the ob-gyn clinic. From here, I we3
reforred to tho psychologlcol clinic becouso I was 'upset' (who
wouldn't be under those clrcumstoncos7) Whon I asked lor help
In propsring for my child (I never thought of edoption et this
point), I was reforred to the N.J. Bureau of Children's Services. I
didn't know they orronged adoptions.
FAMILY INVOLVEMENT