Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

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Lrllrrs lo Dpcn Column nto lnvltcd lrom all
rcndctr and wlll bo publlrhad On a,apacs
av~lloble bnrls. Lellcrs mu51 bc no lonoor
thnl ., ... 350 . . word* . -. .. and - -
snnlrod n
bv Iho nulhor.
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Hovcvcr. Thr, Trlbunrwlll wllhhold lhs w,ll.
-el', nnm'e II requeslcd. Colletr or@ vcrlllod
and urn nublec~ to adlllnO and condonso.
lion.
'Urazen greed'
Edilor, n ~ Tribune: c T~IS wrllcr reccnlly
hnd the cdlfyltig experlcncc of
watching lormcr Vlce Prcsldenl Agncw on
lelevlslon. .n11s proud. flghl.wlng, lolnlly
and Russlnns ban kill each olhcr 20 timcs
ovcr, nevcrmlrl$ I1 nt cnch gmup 01 people
hns nll ILcnri dd i o toke cprc of ils own
citllcrci-pcoplc Pbc Apcw have lo pm.
molc lklr ncfnriouflntcresfs wllh n "holc
objccl." Not n "lovc. bJect"-a "hale ob-
Jccl!" 1 t *
n h Rcngan feel lhal
might lose &me ol U~clr consldcrnblc
nlflucnec. Nelllrr one gives n damn nhul
the Arncricbn lroplc cvcn though Ulcy
pntc nbolll. ~IIC "Amcrlcnn pecpul" con.
, slanlly. Thdy nrc complclcly selfish, oul
for nll they cm personnlly get lhclr J~nndr
on md Ice1 hurl bccnusc mosl Amcrlcnns
slrongly brnzcn grccd nnd sclflsl~ncss, for
lhc bcnelll of our nolnblc nnd cxpnndlm:
nrlslocrncy. And nl lhc expense of our
commoncn who nrc slcndlly growlnk
paorcr nnd pwrcr.
Sln11 Unrkrr
Ccnlrnlin
'Roots and wings'
Edilor. Ihc Trlbut~c: "There nrc only 1
two lmtlng bcquesls we CM glvc our
children: on! Is rwG. lhc other Is
wlngs."
I om the mother of two young girls, WIG
younger onc Is wllh me. Thc oldcsl-born
whcn I wns hlnglcwna surrcndcrcd
lw~dcr coercion nnd duress) lor ndopllon.
1 nm grieved by the conlmveny ovcr who
Isn "renl"pnrcnl. thc scmmtlcsqunbbles
ovcr whclhcr "nnturnl." "blolcglcnl." or
some evcn mom nculrnl term lpcrhnps
"mcchonlcal?") Is the proper dcslgnnllon
for lhor who concclvcd an adopled child.
Evcn mnrc dlslurblng Is lhc ldcn lhnl n
chlld's lovc Is o llmllcd qunnllly, n sourcc
of blllcr rivnlry bclwcen those who gnvc
hlm 111s llfc, nnd those who gave hlm his
homc. I hope nll parcnls, nnturnl nnd
ndoptlvc, who hold lhis narrow vlcw will
lhlnk nboul whnl 1.hnvc to soy.
I nm n "rcnl" molhcr lo my dnughlcr.
nnd h6r blrlh lolhcr Lr n "real" .fnlhcr,
kcnwc her gcnctlc mnkcup. her body md
blood, come from us, and morc lmprlnnlly
bccnusc I lovc never ccnscd lo
remcmlrr, lo suflcr, lo cry, lo grieve nnd
cnrc. Evcn lhougl~ we nrcnol lo~clhcr nnd
do nol shlrc her dnlly llfc. cvcn If 1 ncver
scc her fncc ngnln, shc is truly ours by my
lhoughls 01 hcr, by forcc of my love.
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trlnnglc. Thc ndoplce 1s In n Ilnlqec psi.
lion, In lhnl ll~c loving nld of nll four of hls
"rcnl" pnrcnls is needed lo cnnblc him lo
llnd 111s .own mls nnd wlqjis. Tl~ls Is no1
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cnsy lor nny of UF: IL Is difllcull tor the
ndopllvc pnrcnls lo nckrrowlcclgc llrnl thus
dld nol concclvc nnd bcnr the child lhcy
Iovc, nnd lhnl his cll~nlc nnd blologlcnl
MIS lie clsccvbcre, nnd It Is cqunlly
dlfficull for ihc blrll~ pnrcnls lo ncccpl lhc
lnct thnt cvcn If fbcy nrc rcunltcd wllh
Ihclr gmw chlld, tl~cy will ncver bc rrlorc
lhnn his good fricnds. The words "motbcr
nnd fnU~cr" will nlwnys evoke mcmorlcs
of lhosc whn rnlscd him. Howcvcr hnrd ll
is, wc mu31 nll nld the sc.!rchlnl: ndoplcc;
musl give our cl~lld wlngs.
1 hop ndopllvc pnrcnls will nnrwcr
lhclr children's qucsllo s md cncourngc
md nld Ibclr scorch for lhclr "other"
mols. Plcnsc scc lhls scnrch ns n basic
need lor blologlcnl ldenllly-roots, Afi
exlcnsion 01 lore nnd forglvcncss: no! ns
nn ncl of dlsloynlly or rcpudlntlon of your
mrcnlliwd. Rcmcmbcr-your child's
cmollonnl rools nlwnys ulll be wllh you if
you hnvc rnlscd hlm In nn nl~nosphcrc 01
i ~ lah
d lo\%?. .
'Thcrc Is solnrlhlng concrclc you cnn do
now-If you arc on ndoplivc parcnl, contncl
thc ngcncy lhnl plnccd your chlld nnd
rmuekl comoiclc. uodnlcd mcdlcal nnd
soc'lnl dnin oh your ci~lld's background. If
you nrc n birth pnrenl, mnlncl lhe ngcncy
nnd offcr t11Is lnfonnnllor~. Scvcrnl
prcnfs, lricl~~dlng myscll, nrc doing lhls
. nnd wc wlll nld and ndvlsc nnyonc who
wnnlslo Join us in this hard nnd lmprlnnl
llrsl slep. Conlncl Orphnn Voyngc, Cc.
dqrcdgc. Colo. 81413, or me.
Linda Slllplcy
no111e 2
llonnl wcnc. lhnn cvcr bclorc In the
nntlon's hislory. And we know quite wcll
whlch pollllcnl pnrly undcrwrilfs mmt
-Tho Columbla~ally Trlbune, Columbia, Mo.. Saturday Mornlng, May 22, 1976
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