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Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

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SUPPORT FOR THE RELlNQUlSlllNG MOTHER<br />

conl. lronr provlous pngo<br />

Nnlurolly, rollnquislllng molhors brlng spoclol noods lo child.<br />

blrlh clossos. Ouosllons concorning body honllng, body lmogo,<br />

pormanonl changos lhal propnoncy cousos aro ollon nloro moonlnp<br />

lul lhon whon worklng wllh olhor womon. Ollon ihoy aro nn allompl<br />

lo dollno opporlunltlos for slgnlllconl rolellonshlps In tho luluro.<br />

For oramplo, tho loonngo molhorwt~o plans lo surrondor hor lnlonl..<br />

ond who osks whelhor slrolch marks ovor go awny, may bo sooklng<br />

rnoro than cosmellc Informallon. Sllo moy bo asklno wholhor olh.<br />

or8 wlll have lo know sho hos boon pregnant. Ouosllons nskod<br />

aboul tho baby, gonollc faclors, 1110 baby's posslblo appoarnnco,<br />

tho lhlnpa a ncwborn scnsos end lools aro 0180 quosllons lhnl moy<br />

havo nloro moonlnp than wo would normolly ollrlbulo lo lhom . or<br />

lhoy may nol. Acllvo llsloillng bocomos an lmporlnnl sklll.<br />

I1 Is ono lhlno lo work wllh o vouna molllor 0s sho proparas lor<br />

bltlh, 11 is ollogeillor anolhor lhl& lo lilluonco tho hospllai 0nvlr0n.<br />

monl In whlch sho wlll olvo blrlh, lo hob sea lo Il lhnt sho wlll on.<br />

countor In whlch sho $11 glvo bl.1111, lo help BOO lo I1 Ihol sho wlll<br />

oncounlor o snooorllvo end sonslllvo onvlronmonl. It Is usually<br />

unronll~llc loe~~ocl tho loonago molhor lo boa slrong consumor,<br />

wholhor kceolno or olaclno her bobv. For tho youno rollnq~rlshlng<br />

molhor thori~s ~IIO~' IO ~mo~~onn~ono~~y lo iil~onip~ lo lnlluonco<br />

hor hoallh care; lor many, It Is almply a mallor of gotllng I1 ovor.<br />

Nonolheloss, a young molhor who plans lo surrondor hor baby lor<br />

adopllon soon aller tho blrih brlngs unlquo noods lo tho labor, blrth<br />

and poalperlurn experlence.<br />

I) Young molhors aro ollon oxtremoly dlsadvanlogod by hospllal<br />

pollclos which reslrlcl companions to ono parson. Faced wllh so<br />

many olhor cholcos. a rollnqulshlng mother should no1 havo lo<br />

choosa bolwoen tho companlonshlp ol hor pnrenls, hor baby's fa.<br />

Ihcr onda lralnod "conch" lrorna local chlldblrlh group.<br />

2) Assumplions should no1 be mode about tho rollnquislllnp lnolh.<br />

crs car0 or hm lnlanls coro. Sho should bc ollered tho smo opllons<br />

as olhor molhcrs. Hopolully, "pulling tho molhor lo sloop" ]us1 nood asslslonco In ogoln worklng lhrough her reasons lor her do.<br />

prior lo or lmmedlaloly aller blrlh Is o lhlng 01 lho past. Upon ad. clslons oboul hor bnby. Hor oronlosl ncod Is lo hovo olllcrs around<br />

mlsslon lo lhomalornlty unll, asonslllvo stnlf mcmbor should dls l~or who wlll glvo hcr an opporlunlly to folk aboul her lcnllngs .. to<br />

CUSS wllh tho young molher hor wlshos In rcgards to lnl0racllon hoar hor thoughts so conlpleloly Ihal sho go\s o cl~arrco lo know<br />

wllh hor baby aller blrlh, keeplng In mlnd lhnl hor loolln~s may how she /eels and lo docldo whal wlll bo bosl. Thls Is, of coursc,<br />

chango 01 lllal llmo. Her doslros lor poslpadum room mn~omonls tho hnrdosl thing of nll. It Is such a Iomplollon lo advlso or lo non.<br />

should also be dlscussod.<br />

vorbnlly glvo o nod 01 approval lo ono doclslon or Rnolllcr or lo en.<br />

3) HOSPIIRI slnll noed to bo ospoclally awaro of tho lmpocf lhelr courngo moro dlscusalon ol lho bonellls ol ono doclslon ovor nn.<br />

words and ocllons durlng labor and blrltl may havo. Unkind or In. olhor.<br />

sonslllvo conlmonls, wholllor lnlonllonal or nol, wlll llngor In tho 7) Tho baby's lall~or and grnndpnronls ora oflon sullorlng o grcnl<br />

mcmoly ol tho molhor .. end Ihoso ihlngs wlll no1 bo soolhod by dool durln~ tho lnbor ond poslparlurn oxpcrlonco. Tlloy ncod OxllO<br />

long lorn1 rolallonshlp wllh hor chlld.<br />

srtpporl rind 1110 knowlodgo lllol oltlorsoroavollnblc lo llrrlll.<br />

4) Rollrrqulshlng rnoll~ors, Ilk0 oll mollinrs, ncod (irnlso lor llrolr 8)Slnll noall lol~n<br />

sonslllvo lo Itlo roncllons ol olllrrs lowords tho<br />

work 111 glvlng birlh ond an opporlunlly lo shnro bolh lholr poslllvo rollnqulslllng molllor. If sho Is slaylng In a rcgulor poslparlum rwln.<br />

nr~d ncgnllvo leclin~s aboul tho oxporlonco. If a young molhor loovcs llra sanslllvlly ol roommnloa cnrlnol olwoys bo dopondad upon.<br />

Ill@ hospllnl wllhoul havlng hod an opporlunlly lo slloro hor tool. Woll.monnl~~~ frlorlds or lnrr~lly tnombcrs rnay rllnkn ~rpsolllrlg Corll.<br />

lngs oboul tho oxporlonco, sho may novor hovo an opporlunlly lo monls. Among Itlo loon poor group lhcro Is gonernlly lllllo support<br />

do so.<br />

lor plnclng n baby lor adopllon. Bolh yourig n~olhors ond young<br />

51 Wl~olllor a rnolhor sccs 11or baby or nol, sho Is lnlonsoly lnloroslod lolhors may nood nsslslonco 111 doollng wllli olhoro.<br />

In her Inlnnl. Sho notrds pcoploaround hor who wlll rocognlzo 1101 9) Rollnqulshlr~g molhors ollon won1 lo hnvo a nlornonlo 01 lllolr<br />

mntornnl foollnos. Sho noeds tho opporlunlly lo shnro hor prldo In boblos; o plcluro, a smnll cllpplr~g ol hnlr, o copy of 1110 trond or lonl<br />

har infonl ond 16 hoar hor chlld pralsod. She needs olllors who wlll nrlnl. Thoso doolros sllould bo rccoanlzod n3 norlnal nr~d hoolll~y ..<br />

sllnrc hot sodncss in savlno oood.by0 10 her baby and who con IlolP nnd lf <strong>III</strong>O~ aro no1 roquoslod, cot1 ho OIICIO~. Irr oddlllon, nlnny<br />

tlcr cop0 Wllh her loellnos 01 limo. Plnllludos about "lhls bolno nrolhors wish lo sand somolhlng 01 \Ironlsolvos wllh lhclr bobles.<br />

lor lho bcsl". "havlng olhor cl~lldron", "Illo happlnoss lllol a couplo 0 lollor, on nrllclo ol clollllng, o hondrnado qulll. Sl~eclol arrongo<br />

wlll llavo In rocelvlng her chlld", aro gonorolly lnopproprlnlo and monls cnn bo rnodo lor lhoss lo bo nlvon lo lI~e ndonllvc onrortts.<br />

usuolly closo oll o~orlunllos lor tho young molhor lo oxprosa In 1110 1970's 1110 noods 01 1110 ndoillon lrlnd, blrlh~oronls, ndop.<br />

whal she Is lcollnn end lhlnklng.<br />

IIvo pnrorlls adoplod chlldron, havo corn0 lnlo illo open. Whal ha3<br />

8) Tho populor theory that It Is boat 11 o rollnqulslllng molhor doos boon rcvonlod Is 1110 cornploxlly 01 1110 noods 01 1111s lrlod, ncods<br />

1101 soo her baby Is conlrodlclory lo ovorylhlr~~ lhal Is know nboul whlcll nio ollon In dlrocl opposlllor~ lo ono nnolllor. A mullllrrdo<br />

.Ira malcrlral lasks 01 pregnancy and llro procoss of grlevlng. TI10 ol ononclos llnvo boon lorrnod .. cnch roprosor~tlr~fl 1tlo';o opposlno<br />

concorn 111ol a young molhor wlll chongo hor mind nbolrl plo~lng noods. Wllcll~or or 1101 ll~oso ngonclc3 wlll hnvo nn lr~lluonco or1<br />

her baby nloy bo roollsllc In sonlo cosos, bul II la nlorn llkcly Illel cuironl otlopllorr piocllccs Is yo1 lo ho socn. Wllnl Is ccrlnlrl Is lhnl<br />

lnlorncllon wlll lead llor to quosllon hor doclslon rolllor thnn chnngo llloro or@ no easy nnswcrs nnd llrul ll~oro wlll ba no p3i111038 SOIU.<br />

her mlnd. In any ovonl. 11 Is lho young fnolhor's cl~olco. Sho moy<br />

Il01lS.

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