Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

All counselling I received pointed to adoption os tho only
'good' and 'roosonoble' choice for an unwed mother. I wos not
told one positive thing obout keeping my child, or one nogotivo
result, either to me or tho child, from giving him up, The only
option I was offered was to place tho child in foster core. I wos
never informed of the possibility of receiving welforo or ony other
flnanciol ossistonco end I was too ignorant to ask. In ell my contocts
with tho egoncy, I felt lnvislble, dehumanized, e 'non-person'
who existed only os o collection of statistics and sociological
cliches, not o unique humon being with dignity, with velld feelings
and needs. Because I was not 'Mrs.' somebody, my pregnancy
was viewed as a mistoko to be remedied, end I wos seen, not os a
mother, but as tho producer of a veluobio product. a white heeitlly
infant of college-educated parents. I was the means to on end.
I went Into labor on on eorly April evening when the earth
wes just beginning to come olive, and for years afterword I ovoidod
tho worm touch of early spring sun - the memory burned like fire.
My boyfriend drove me to tho hospitol oround 10:OO p.m. and
dropped me off, wishing me luck. I spent the night in terror end
pain, es I had in no way been prepared for labor and delivery. I
was left alone in a cold room, end I could heor women in labor
screaming, as I screamed. The hospital personnel were unsympathetic
and even hostile. I woke up in e ward to find I hod an
eight pound, one ounce boy. I named him Michael. His small white
face, a mirror of me snd his father and our families, wos the most
beautiful sight I have over seen.
They brought him to me twice to feed. then without warning,
transferred me to the psychiotrlc ward end forbade me to see my
child. I later learned that this octlon was planned long before I
was admitted. When I insisted on seeing my child, one doctor
threatened to have me transferred to the state monte1 hospital
'if I made any trouble'.
After the usuel live deys. Michool went into e foster home.
When l visited him, I hod to go to the ogency to got him. Tho
following year was o continuation of a nightmore. I suffered from
post-partum depression which nobody would attribute to the
fact that I wos soporetod from my child. I was treated os e happy
person who suddenly became depressed for some unknown rooson.
Tho counselling continued in o similar vein with great stress
on how selfish I wos to deny my son e 'normol' homo and how he
was becoming less desirable os he got older. It replaced my reel
feelings with 'You'll forgot, you'll finish college, you'll get merriod,
you'll have othor children, you'll hove o new iifel' Finally, I govo
up. I surrendered.
FAMILY INVOLVEMENT