Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

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. 20 ;i:
Thc 6osl011 Cblre 'Pu&dny. May 24, 1077
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Dcar Clrosen Baby - I was so
I happy to know that as an adopted son
you have had such n wonderful, lovlng
: lifc. It Is too.bad that your nnlurnl
mother couldn't be assured of your
happlncss. . . . I
; It would probably mak;hcr future
I
llle free of gullt and release .an
: unbearable burden from her.
! I am a natural mother'who
rellnquishcd my rights lo my beautiful
baby daughter when I was 17 years of.
age because of absolute necealty ,- I
I had no other altcrnntive.
I I loved her and stlll love her
'
desperately. She is constantly in my
, prayers. I had to bellcve everyone who
; 'told me I was doing the right thing. But
. .
! you nevcr know lor sure. .'
A real mother wants nothlng more
' . than her chlld's hnppincss. It Is not a
j .legal right, but it seems it should be a
: ' human rlghl to reassure her In some
I way. . .
I
It's too bad the adoption agency'
, :couldn't lntervenc it there was .real
need on the part of clthcrone., .
' You said an adopted parent lhould
i not tell her child that her mother didn't
: want her..
., ..'
b I met many mothcrs at a home for
!' unwed mothers and Ican honestly say I
; never met one who didn't want her
: . child. .
; They wanted their chlldrcn lo have
; a mother and a falhei, a chance to have
! the klnd of 1lle.they couldn't provide
, (at the tlme).
I thought It was the most unselfish
' thing anyone could do - to give up
: nomeone you love in order for them to
" have I better life.
But I am not as sure of my
convlctlon now as when I was "brain-
/ washe.$' at 17 yearn of age.
It la Inhuman tosuggest that anyqne
: sign away thelr child and, then expect
1 them to ncver, nevcr be assured for the
i re?! of their lllc whether that chlld is
r alive or happy.
/ Pleate say a prayer for your natural
mother. I'm curs ..., she . has raid many for
.. .)
IYOU. :' ' . .
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. Why people fail to grieve
: j
Wo flnrl I1 ~lsof~~l for ll~n pllrpnao nf
: i tlrornpy lo clnsalfy tho cnlrsos oliltll~~ro 1s
Dcnr Very Spcctnl PCOP~C - [gave ;
grlcvo lor lln~llnlrrgicnl grlol) Into fiocinl , up my bcautlful lilllc dnuglltcr for
. . 1
.
nnd psycl~ologicnl fnctors.
8 ,
: ndoption. She was only 4 days old and I
: Socinl rnclom wai just17.
I could havc gottcn
Us WOU!d
married
have
but
been
1lIc
hnve gono on wclforc
of us
n?uch of a future.
, .
At the hospital I fed and chnnRcd
sit~~niion :
a@cnt the time
posalble with her.
tvnnlnrr for boing "cnro- EVCPYO~C said that I shouldn't have
inconvonlorlcirlg otllors, but I had to give her all my love while I
occur wlion n tvonlnn could.
willl lto~ll I wish I could~l~nve kept her but now,
nborilon nnd ndnptlon, thorn ifi n task we both have n chance fore bcttcr life.
grioving tobodo~~n.l~~~t il~osocinls~~~~~ior~ 1 love that littlcglrl cvcn though shc
nocossnry lor tho procoss la oflon in- is livlng wlth somcone clac.
When you wrotc that you could care
Docnuso oftllo nllmbor of P~l~ionts who lcss about scclng yournaturnl parcnts,
JO prosent tllomsolvos for lroip fc~llow~ng I felt that you wcrc also saying that you
abortton or giving up o chlld, rvo could cnrelcasnbout thcm.
tom r ~ ~ l I " in(l~Ir0 ~ I ~ ~IJOU~ tll~sn Pea- It cut me qultc dccp!y. Pcrhapa your
for slbilllins In rill wolnori ol child-l~anring own felt as I do.That life would
diaq "0. Tilo dlngllosls Ifi lllnro corlain tv1io11 be coslcr and better for you wlth
frlen fllo prosonlolion for help OCClJrS, ns 11 .. somconc clsc.
I ~flcn cloos, on tho annlvorsnry of tho loss. 1 would love to my daughter ns
ever-
she grows. 1 want hcr lo know why I
whel ; chosc lo give her up. I don't want hcr lo
whet
hate me and to care lcss about mc. I
me I
door.
fecl.
N ,
Don'!
your
W !
quiet
help.
have
notcl
- 1,
:
i
!
.
want hcr to undcrstond.
Perhaps you have thought of why
your ,mo;hcr gave you up. I hope you
try to understand.
I rcalizc thnI' my becoming pregnant
was a mlstnkc but I will nevcr think of
my littlc daughter os one.
. I will ncvcr rcgrel giving hcr life. 1
will ncver hntc hcr. 1 will somclimcs
rcgrct glvlng hcr up but 1 know I1 wns
all for the besl.
Ilovchcr,~,
~t ~Cncc