Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

tho courage to insist to tliis womon who intlmidotod mo ~rootly
thot I bo ollowod to soo my son in his lostor homo. With her
ossuroncos thot 1 wos only moking tho inovitoblo moro difficult, I
did soo him tl~oro twice and took him from tho foster homo to
car0 for him in tho homos of frionds, olso twico.
My social workor did not hldo her woning potlonco and sho
irnpliod thot I wos intcrforlng in my son's propor eorly odoptivo
plocomont-cloorly, I wos in tho woy. No options wore over
vonturod. Fooling thot I hod boen pushod in o cornor, with no
ploco or help ovolioblo. I finolly did "surrondor".
I hovd doolt with Mlchool's surrondor in o numbor of vastly
difforont ways. I hovo blotted out ovorything for ton yoors: remomborod
ond ocknowiodgod: chonnoliod my concorn for him by having
tho edoption ogoncy notify tho odoptivo parents of my wiillngness
to provide informotion: end I hovo boon active in adopt00 groups
as woll es founding CUB. Duo to tho ogoncy's oiovon month bottlo
with me ovor convoying notlficotion of my Consont to Inform. I
learned Michool's now identity in order to find onothor, moro
willing, intormodiery, which lotor proved unnocossory.
Knowing Michael's ldontlty has boon soothing: but, of course.
it changes nothing. In the yoor and one-half since learning It, I
hovo not seen him nor Interfered with the edoptivo rolotionshlp in
ony woy. I'm not sure thot I rogrot Michool'o adoption (tho ond of
our story has not yet boon roached), for my lifo hos otherwise
boon full ond happy with my two othor sons ond husband, ond I
do not begrudge the hoppinoss Michool hos brought Into his
odoptivo family.
If I rogrot anything, it is that I wos doniod options in the
Surrondor Contract end thot I connot simply know my son for I
boliovo thot our knowing eoch othor would not horm him or his
poronts in any woy. And, this ocquointonco could oven bo enriching
to us all, If only tho poronts hod boon oncourogod to considor
tho reality of my oxistonco from tho onset of his odoption. I find it
difficult to justify the lock of emotional rocompenso for whet will
surely bo tho ultimoto sacrifice of my lifo. Thoso ore, ossentielly,
my regrets. As I soid, I'm not suro that I rogrot tho basic concopt
of odoption; it is, rothor, thot I rogrct thot there Is no ploco for
me within it.
Now thot the suffering of doing something untried and difforont
has passed between my agency ond me, .I hove found onemaybe
two- sociel workors who I con trust. Thls, plus fronkly
discussing my pain with my fomlly and friends, has disslpoted
FAMILY INVOLVEMENT