Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

was lior o~lnlori tliot an unmarried worrinn
who clndortook to raise lror cliild by liorsolf
would nood to liavc o stoblo pcrsoriolity
arid an ollovo ovorn(]a inconio. Slio told mo
that slio know of only ono urrninrrinrf
wornan who hnd raised her cliild succossfully
orid ovon slio had oxl~erloncctl
problems. Slio implied that It was tho
wornort's nrorioy tlrat had given lior a
liglilinij clianco. I licflrd a sirnilnr story lrorii
Miss Frosor and I prosunio it was tho soriic
wornan.
I tliink it would be true to say that in tlic fortics
and tlio fiftios tho majority .of social
workors come frorn tho upper mlddlo class.
And I bollovo tlils may liovo caused them to
place rather too much importance on
nintorlal advantages. For oxomplo. in their
closcriptions of "good" adoptivo lioriies
tliey tondod to strcss such t!iings as tho
family owning tlioir own homo, the fatlior
lroving a prolcssional position. And I
remombcr tliat during a discussion with
one of my sociol workers, tlio cost of a
baby carriage was montionod as one of tho
expenses I would face if I kept my boby.
Yet my mother hadn't ownod a baby carriaga
and I can remember only one noiglibourhood
family that did. I had grown up In
a rural oron whore money wasn't plentiful
and hod I kept my boby I think we probably
could have gotten by on less than my sociaf
workers would liavo considered deslrablo.
I romembor telling Miss Frasor one day that
oltliough I wlsliod tho circumstances wore
difforont I was really quito happy belng
pregnant. I felt colnier and more settlod
than I over had before and I loved to fool tho
baby moving inside mo. Miss Frnscr told rnc
tliot tlils might bo what she called tlie
"eupliorio of pregnancy". But I kept saying
to tior that I did not want ID ~ivo up t11o
baby for adoption and slia and I did liovc
sonio convorsatlons about wliat I might do
If I woro to ksop it. But it was difficult for
mo lo come t~p will1 o workable plan on my
own ond tlio only suggestion Miss Froscr
had to offcr was tliat porliol~s I migiit ask
Mrs. Kioly if I could bring the baby tiorno to
lior house. Tlils Idea didn't appeal to mo.
suclgostod it flltliotrgli I lrad' tnlkod to lior
ninny tiriios about riiy tloslro to kaop lily
Ilol~y, ond partly l~ocouso lior Iiusbantl oftoti
dratik too mucli arid ;ibirsod lior nrirf t
did not want to bririg nry Imby irito tlint
typo ul lionio.
Mrs. Kiuly livod a corisitloroblo tlistoricc
frorii 1\10 liospltol wlroro rny baby was to be
born and wc oll i~ngan to tliink tlrnt it nri(l1it
(10 bottor if I weto to nrove. Miss Frnsor
know of a doctor's hornc closor to tlio
Iiospltnl wliero tlioy wnritod sorncorio to
Ilolp In tlic liouso and slio told 1110 tliat if I
moved thoro she could got me tho bost
sociol worker 111 tho area. A low days alter
my arrival at tlio now l~loco I rocclvod a visit
from this social worker, o Miss Wallocc.
Tho first thing Miss Wollaco said to me
was, how ore you foclitig? That, in itself.
was very tlilforont frorii Mrs. Cotton's op
prooctt. Sho said that Miss Fraser hod told
lior that I noodod a lot of liolp and slio np.
poarcd to bo more than willing to do what
she could for me.
Miss Wallace oxortod a groat deal of influonco
over nio for a variety of reasons.
Bofors I had over nict her I liad been told
slie was the best social worker In the area
and that prcdlsposcd mo to bo impressed
by anything slie said. Slio was about 20
years older than I was and when you ore
In your twenties you oxpact women In their
fortlos to know more than you do. (at.
though, I discovered lotor, she liad not
entorod univcrslty untll she was In licr tiiirties
and so did not 11ovo as many yoars of
working oxpcrlonco as one might liavo ox.
pectod from a woriian liar ago.) Because
she was very sure of tiorsolf. and stated her
' opinions so self-confidontly. I was inclined
to accept thorn without questioning tiiom.
Moreover, slic was very fond ol children
and I think that Influoncod 1110, too.
Soriie time provlously I liod writlon to my
niotlior and odmlttod niy situation. I conlossod
I did not know what I sliould do
about tho baby and tllat Aunt Eleanor wan.
led mo to hove It odoptcd. My mother
wrote back and sold that as sho was no
FAMILY INVOLVEMENT