Articles Book III - Pg 300-560 (Birthparents) - triadoption

"I wanled to keep my chlld,
but was never ollcred
rcsourccs to do SO" -.
I utas very pleased lo see the sensl- !
live. IIIOU~I~I~UI lc~~ers lrom two adopUvc ;
rnolliers in !lie February Issue. If more
adoolive parenb felt as Uiey do. birth
hoillers would no1 havc lo sutler ns '
much. In answer lo some ~SSU~S llley 1
raised: tllc reason tllat many birth
motllcrs, including myself, are so biller. .
is because we were used, because we
were lied lo. and bccause we Itad no real
\\'e sympallilze wilh the pain of
worncn xlio ure inlertile, and know that
.. . - .. . . . - . . .- . . ,. . .. -
rnosl adopiivc pa1ent.s see their children I
as precious individuals, no1 as corn
modities. Our quarrel is not wilh adopllve i
parents, who love our chlldren just as we '
do. but wilh lhc syslern Lhal views a child
as a cornmodily. lo be sold w lm perled,
and warehoused in rosler care If
-damaged.'
Like many other young rnollrers. 1
wanicd lo keep my cliild, bul was never
ollered rcsourccs lo do so. Adoplion was
not my'choice-il u.as the only door left
open alter llrose who woe counseling
me had slorn~ncd all the others In my
lace. Tlial this kind 01 thing is sllll happcning
Is as much of an oulrage ns all Uie
alleinpts lo remove llie choice of abor. I
lion l~om women; and yelwhen 11comes
lo adoplion, arid Its abuse, many wlio are
prochoice scern no1 lo care, whlle prolile
groups push lor inore adoptions as a j
supposed al~crnalivc lo, abortion. The
reason support groups like Origins (26
Highland Avenue, Wtiippany. NewJersey'
07981) must exist 1s because ncbody
else undcrstands or cares about us.,We
arc women who have glv& birth, bul do
not have the right lo call ourselves
riiolhers. We hove become society's
gar hage.
I hope Ihal niore women will!calize
--... .
I
ilia1 tlic lack of choice In adopllon Is ns
mucli a ferninlsl iss~~e as is abortion, and
\ha1 lhey will supporl our elloris lo bring ,
openness and tioncsty to the adoption
SYslem.
Mary Anne Colrcn
Wliijj@np;NJ:
I
1
'
I
. .
I read wilh great sndncss the letters
from women whohad glven up a cliild lor
ndoplion ('Lellcn? June. 1981). They
helped me realize that I cannot begin to
Imagine the greal sulferlng my birth
mother musl haveexpcrlenced when she
allowed lotal strangers to wer~ome me
into Ihcir home 21 years ago..
. .Allhough I havc never met my birth
mollier, stre has a vety special place in
rny hcaR I love her because slre tiad
cnough coulage and love lor me to give
me up. 1 lecognize Ilia1 ltils musl have
been a vcry painful decision. hul I am
glad she allowed rnc lo erpericrrcc the
life and the love my adoplive larnily i
shores wilh me.