Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

Major Self-Esteem Research Findings 65the effects of its absence. For instance, parents who are described as beingindifferent toward their children, as well as parents who are absent frequentlyor absent for long periods of time, tend to have children withlower levels of self-esteem (Clark and Barber, 1994; Coopersmith, 1967;Rosenberg, 1965). Moreover, this effect may be particularly importantfor male children (Miller, 1984).Parental “Warmth” (Acceptance)Mere involvement does not seem to be enough. Quality counts, andparental warmth or acceptance appears to be crucial to the developmentof self-esteem (Bednar, Wells & Peterson, 1989; Coopersmith, 1967;Rogers, 1961). This finding is frequently mentioned throughout severaldecades of work, but it tends to be a bit vague as a term. Trying to specifythe behavioral components of such an attitude is difficult, but theterm acceptance is used most often to describe a parent’s willingness tosee a child’s strengths and weaknesses, potentials and limitations. Suchacceptance is “warm” in that it is balanced, not blind, which means thatsimple approval is not associated with self-esteem. By contrast, mereapproval or praise is more likely to be associated with problems such asnarcissism and so forth. By seeing both the strengths and the limitationsof a child in a particular situation, a parent can encourage him or her toexplore the world in ways that are based on the child’s unique constellationof abilities, preferences, competencies, fears, interests, and so on atany given age, all of which are connected to developing mastery.This factor can also be illustrated by studying what happens whenacceptance is absent. For example, Kernis (2003a) noted that a lack ofsuch warm or loving acceptance is detrimental to self-esteem. He foundthat when individuals suffer a deficit in this area, they often become morelikely to base their sense of worth on extrinsic rather than intrinsic factors,which makes them more vulnerable. Crocker and Park (2003) foundthat students who place much of their worth on academic performancesuffer a greater loss when they do not get accepted into graduate schoolthan those who value other aspects of their person more highly. Finally, itshould almost go without saying that parents who are harsh and derogatoryor who use name calling and love withdrawal can have a negativeeffect on self-esteem (Kernis & Goldman, 2003).Parental Expectations and ConsistencyClearly defined expectations and limits are parental attitudes often associatedwith developing positive self-esteem in children (Coopersmith,1967). Setting high but not impossible expectations, for instance,