Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

212 SELF-ESTEEM RESEARCH, THEORY, AND PRACTICEa realistic plan of how to implement the decision I made. Paying closeattention to detail is important because people usually make plans thatare doomed to fail. Therefore, in this seventh step I ask the group to helpme identify each specific activity that must be completed to implementthe solution and to assist me in placing them in the order that is necessaryfor them to take me to the goal. Finally, I add another step that is not onmost of the other versions of the technique, which is the need to practiceproblem solving before deciding on whether or not it works. Manypeople try the method, find that it did not make the problem go away,and give up on the technique. Reminding them of this aspect of the learningprocess helps reduce frustration and helps participants increase theirproblem-solving skills.After going through this practice run, we make the exercise morerealistic by asking people to volunteer problems for part B. Of course, wework each one out on the board by asking the group to process the problemeach step of the way. As the facilitator, I clarify their responses andwrite them on the board for all to see. The same procedure is repeateduntil we run out of time, and then the whole group is instructed to practiceusing this technique for the next week and to record their experiencesin their self-esteem journals. Participants often seem pleased to be receivingtraining in problem solving, and even the most skeptical group memberstend to see it as a tangible benefit of the program that is readilytransferable to real life. Usually, someone agrees to think about what hasbeen done here, use the technique on a particular problem, and reportback to us on his or her experience of the problem at the next meeting.There are some points to remember in working both the cognitiverestructuring and the problem-solving activities. For one thing, it is helpfulto model them for the group, which in this case, is done both by thefacilitator’s working through a problem and by working through problemsfrom the group. Modeling not only shows each step of the processmore clearly but, as we have already seen, is itself a valid self-esteemenhancement technique that is tied to competence. Trying things out alsoallows us to help dispel certain kinds of difficulties, such as the mistakenbelief that these techniques make one feel great or work overnight. Forexample, participants might say that even though their pain or uncomfortablefeelings have been reduced by this or that technique, they stillfeel bad. At this point it is necessary to emphasize that the goal is to berealistic, which means understanding that sometimes circumstances aresimply uncomfortable. In these situations, even a reduction in pain oranxiety is a net gain, which fully justifies using the technique. This happenswith problem solving in that some participants say something like“OK, I’ve done what you want, but I still have a problem” or “None ofthe alternatives are good ones.” It is often necessary to remind people